September 22, 2023

Issacharian Daughters #069 – Even More Questions for Suitors!

click on heading to read whole post and to make links live.

pdf of Issacharian Daughters – ID067 – click on link below for correct layout and photos

Click here: id069-even-more-questions-for-suitors.pdf

Dear Girls,

The next newsletter is attached as a pdf and the text follows this note for those of you who have difficulty opening the pdf. I’m a little early emailing this one out as I’m going to be away for four days visiting dear friends.

I am still collecting blogs and websites and details of any ministries you are involved in!

Last week I mentioned that I had noticed that many of you who receive the Issacharian Daughters newsletter are also involved in ministering to or encouraging or exhorting other young women in other ways – such as through a newsletter or a magazine or a website or blog. If that includes you please feel free to send me an email giving me the name of your newsletter or book or website along with a quick paragraph with your name and location and a piece explaining the vision/purpose behind your blog. Lord willing I’ll compile a list and share it with all the other Issacharian Daughters.

Notice Regarding the Girls for Christ Conferences in New Zealand

Dear Girls for Christ families, Just to let you know as posted on our website (but unchanged on the pdf file Registration form). We have changed our internet provider, and no longer have xtra. We will not be able toreceive your enquiries if you use that address. Please change it to Looking forward to seeing you all again this coming year Lord willing.Thanks and God Bless,Amy Lauder (GFC Co-ordinator)

The Girls for Christ website is: And the link for the 2008 Conference registration form is:

Letter from a reader
Dear Genevieve,Thanks for your newsletter – it is always inspiring and offers much food for thought and prayer! The questions are interesting – I like the advice you give [about the questions for suitors], to be discerning about which ones [to ask], and when to ask them, and to perhaps get fathers/parents to do most of the research as the questions can lead to a certain level of intimacy before the time is right.Also, I appreciate your advice about being careful to maintain emotional purity, even if a young man shows positive attributes according to one’s personal list of requirements – in case he is not the one God has intended. How wonderful if many young men can show those positive attributes – it is a reflection of their parents’ good training and God’s grace in their lives!

We have been greatly blessed by your ministry even though we have come into it rather late! :-))

God bless you richly.Love in Him,Vicki McGeorgeRegards,Genevieve Smith

Monday, 17 December 2007

Dear Girls,

Even More Questions for Suitors

Here they are! Even more questions for suitors – over 90 in fact! Enjoy!


[I’ll repeat this warning from last week]

Questions like this do need to come with a warning label! Discussing these questions with a suitor – getting his responses and giving your own – can be an intimate and emotionally bonding exercise. Please use discernment with regard to how and when you use these questions. In my own situation, Dad had spent seven months emailing Pete before he and I met. When Pete and I started going through questions like these together, Dad was already convinced that all that was needed was a little bit of chemistry to bring about a courtship, engagement and marriage! I want to advocate taking care because it is no good to become emotionally bonded through a questioning process like this only to have a relationship end, say, because it wasn’t a serious relationship anyway, or because some basic foundational questions weren’t asked first to ensure that you could marry (ie that a marriage would be an equal yoking). For more information on emotional purity and taking care of your heart and emotions, the book Emotional Purity: An Affair of the Heart by Heather Paulsen is excellent. I normally sell it for NZD$26.00 but have it on sale at present for NZD$18.00 or AUD$19.00 (including postage).


How could I help you? In your work, vision, etc?

Do you work long hours? Do you see this continuing?

What are your long term goals/aims/ambitions/visions regarding work/family/relationships/personally?

What is your calling?

How would you define/describe the dominion mandate?

What is your ministry?

In what ministry ways do you foresee using your family?

Family/Raising Children

What goals do you have for your children? How do you want to raise them? Your boys? Your girls?

In many families the only benefit of homeschooling is that the children are at home. What benefits do you want to have? What advantages do you want to take because your children are at home?

How do you intend to discipline/train your infants?

How do you intend to discipline/train your young children?

Will your wife always come before your children?

Regarding raising boys, what will your role be? Will you take over the training of your boys from your wife at some point?

What situations would merit your daughter getting a part time or full time job? Or are you keen to train them to be helpmeets and homemakers by having them help you and I?

Will spanking be a first or last resort?

What homeschool curriculum/philosophies are you interested in?

Would you ever send your children to school?


Can you describe your financial situation to me?

How do you foresee finances once you are married to be organized? For example, what would a regular food budget be likely to be?

Do you have savings?

Do you see tithing as an act of worship? ie, not proper to come before the Lord in worship without an offering?

Home Life

What will life be like, what will my role be after the children are grown?

What are your desires/intentions with regard to hospitality?

What meals will we be able to eat together?

Would you prefer your family to work together and towards a common goal? Or is the soccer mom lifestyle acceptable to you?

What do you think about kids toys?

What do you think about clutter and stuff? Children’s chores? Pocket money?

Husband and Wife Roles and Responsibilities and Relationship

Have you prayed about our courtship/relationship/a possible future marriage with me?

What is your understanding of the way Christ loves the church?

Are you aware that as my federal head you are responsible for all my problems? (Page 12 of Federal Husband by Douglas Wilson talks about this).

In what ways will it be hard for you to give up your privacy or independence or individualism if we marry?

How can we glorify God and enjoy Him forever in our marriage?

How long have you been alone?

Does it seem to you that I would be a helper comparable to you?

Are you prepared to answer my theological questions or, if you cannot, to study so you can remedy the deficiency?

When I come to you for counsel, will you give it to me? When I ask for a decision, will you make it? Even if I resist it?

Is it important to you that your wife be loyal?

How could I demonstrate loyalty to you if we were married?

Do I fit your needs?

If we married would it point people to God?

Do you think it is appropriate to correct your wife in public?

Are you prepared for my unsubmissive sinful nature?

What if we can’t have children?

What do you anticipate married life with me looking like?

Personal Details/Idiosyncrasies

What do you do to pursue purity? To guard your purity?

Have you had any speeding tickets?

Have you ever been in trouble with the law?

Have you ever been in court?

How did your parents meet?

What makes you cry? Laugh? Frustrated?

What other emotions do you tend to feel?

What are your weaknesses?

What are your character weaknesses?

What things in your life are you trying to work on?

What spiritual mistakes have you made in the past or errors have you believed?

What sort of a wedding would you like? Style? Size? What traditions would it incorporate?

What was your family like growing up?

What is your church like?

How do you learn best?

What is important to you? What needs do you have?

Is there anything else I should know about you?

Relationships in General and Ours in Particular

Would you only date/court a person you are interested in marrying?

How long should a couple date/court before becoming engaged?

What do you think of giving promise rings?

Do you think it’s okay to talk to someone of the opposite sex on the phone if you are not dating/courting them?

What are your desires with regard to physical purity prior to marriage? What sort of physical touch is appropriate prior to marriage?

What are your desires with regard to physical affection after marriage?

Are you physically affectionate? Do you intend to be physically affectionate with your wife/children?

What are your expectations from here?

What are your courtship expectations?

What about physical touch prior to marriage?

Who are the people you are investing your emotional energy in?

What safeguards or accountability should we have when we are together before we are married?

Spiritual Disciplines (Christian Living)

What is your view of: A. Bible intake? B. Meditation? C. Prayer? D. Memorization? E. Worship? F. Evangelism? G. Tithing? H. Stewardship of time and money? I. Fasting. J. Silence and solitude? K. Simplicity (ie, living a simple life)? L. Dancing and feasting. M. Celebration?

Would you want me to wear a headcovering?

How do you feel about gossip? What constitutes gossip? How much should we talk about others? How much is it appropriate for a married couple to talk about others to each other? Would you ever talk about me to others?


What do you think of intelligent design?

What are your thoughts on paedo baptism and paedo communion?

Are you Reformed?

Ten Questions to Ask Your Husband Each Year

I listened to a sermon with this title on recently. The minister recommended that a wife ask her husband the following questions each year:

What could I do to make you feel more loved?

What could I do to make you feel more respected?

What could I do to make you feel more understood?

What could I do to make you feel more self-confident?

What could I do to make you more confident in our future direction?

What attribute would you like me to develop?

What attribute would you like for me to help you develop?

What achievement in my life would bring you the greatest joy?

What would really indicate to you that I really desire to be more Christlike?

What mutual goal would you like to see us accomplish?

Wouldn’t those be great questions to ask your husband each year to bless your husband and really be a help to him? Tuck them away and pull them out again once you are married!

For the Greater Glory of God through our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ,

Genevieve Smith

Issacharian Daughter


I have sent this email to girls who have embraced a vision of victorious daughterhood as well as those who may be thinking about doing so (and even to some girls who may just like some encouragement regarding different areas of home life). Some of the girls are in the USA, UK, Australia and other parts of the world. Most are in New Zealand. You are welcome to forward this email on to others so long as you do so in its entirety. If you do not want to receive these emails please just send a return email to me stating that fact. If you know of other girls who would be encouraged by receiving these emails, feel free to forward the email to them or send me their email address.