November 23, 2014


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Fathers Role

Craig’s notes that he spoke from at workshops/conferences

Fathe rs Role

Notes By Craig Smith

Develop Vision

Hopper on Leadership and Ideas (from “A Bugs Life” Craig would use Hopper to develop a point about leadership and Ideas)

  • “Ideas are dangerous things”
  • No rights – only responsibilites
  • “Can resist invading armies, but not invading ideas.” Therefore go with them. Lead out. Take charge.
  • Men generally strong in ideas department — the Big Picture. Need to be convinced before committed
  • Women generally strong on endurance and details. Committ a lot earlier
  • Embrace this responsibility
  • Lift responsibilities and loads off your wife: bureaucrats, salesmen, surveys, catch the flak and criticism – have wife refer all to you

Read Books

Train sons, protect daughters. Think it through: how do you prepare and protect at the same time?

Difficult times demand drastic Action

VISION

  • Marriage – become one united family
  1. love wife
  2. lead
  3. discipline
  4. set standards
  5. enforce
  • 3 kinds of people: 1. those who make things happen; 2. those who watch things happen and 3. those who said “What happened”
  • Pursue a Vision, the Big Picture
  • Home education is a political statement. Leads to how politicised is the school system
  • Take government away from the State
  • Schooling verses education
  • Tutoring/mentoring
  • Character training
  • Learning and teaching styles
  • Beware of unrealistic expectations:  house; tidyness, grooming; energy levels; availability; Support Group and social commitments; Church commitments
  • I recently read: “Home educating Mum cannot fulfill her ministry to her family, the Church or the Community.” (School teacher)
  • Exemption is a blank cheque!
  • What this will do for you, family, community, country
  • No back door – Herman Cortez, early 1519 with 600 men scuttled and sank their boat – could only go forward in battle – there was no going back.

Most have simple vision: happy; healthy; good job; comfortable. Short-sighted and narrow minded Matthew 6:33
Preparing for eternity (personal timeline)
Vision fogged by SIN, worldly ideas. God’s Word flushes.

Our assignment: Deut 6:5-6

  • enables us to: Deut 6:7
  • Best education out: II Timothy 3:16-17
  • Best results: Psalm 111:10 and Psalm 112:1-2
  • Methods: I Thes 2:10-12

Priorities

  1. Saving, Regeneration, Sanctifying, Personal commitment to the Lordship of Jesus Christ
  2. Ever improving interpersonal relationships with your wife and children
  3. Character development
  4. Academics, work ethic and service

Balance Academics, work ethic and service

Academics – Genesis 1:28, Matthew 28:18-20 and II Corinthians 5:17-20

Work ethic- I Timothy 5:8, II Thessalonians 3:10 and Genesis 2:15

Service – Galatians 5:22-23 (Then Craig would finish with his sheep in the paddock illustration)

Living life above this “sin” line means striving for Biblical holiness, righteousness and purity.

—————————————————————————————————————

Living below this “sin” line is characterised by worldliness: unholiness, unrighteousness and impurity.

In the diagram above, we have an illustration of two paddocks here on earth, two spheres of existence, the one above inhabited by the sheep redeemed by their Lord, and the lower one inhabited by the goats. The problem with us today is that we are continually crowding the fenceline, trying to see how close we can get without going over instead of exploring the uncharted, virgin territory above characterised by the fruit of the Spirit. Galatians 5:23 says there is no law against these, no fenceline on the other side! Yet some of us actually stand on the fenceline below in such a way, we can’t see the line anymore between right and wrong, good and bad, wise and unwise. Our children need us leading them away from this fenceline of worldliness and  into the light and freedom of righteous obedient living above.

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From the Smiths:

http://hef.org.nz/2011/craig-smith-26-january-1951-to-30-september-2011/

New 14/11/11: Craig Smith’s Health page 6 click here

 

Needing help for your home schooling journey:

http://hef.org.nz/2011/needing-help-for-your-home-schooling-journey-2/

And

Here are a couple of links to get you started home schooling:

http://hef.org.nz/getting-started-2/
and
http://hef.org.nz/exemptions/

 

Please like & share:

Applying for an Exemption to Educate at Home

$7.00

 

For more information view this YouTube video where Craig is promoting this book:

To order do one of the following:

send email to sales@hef.org.nz with visa number

post cheque or visa number to 4 Tawa Street, Palmerston North, 4414

phone: 06 357-4399

Trademe:  http://www.trademe.co.nz/Members/Listings.aspx?member=2366144

 

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15 Things Every Father Must Do With His Sons

15 Things Every Father Must Do

With His Sons

By Craig Smith

The main objective here is to help dads develop good personal relationships with their sons; to win their hearts and keep their hearts, so that the hearts of the sons will not as easily be enticed, seduced and captured by the many agents of subversion, perversion and evil out there committed to doing just that: stealing your child away from you.

Dads, I know how busy we get and how easy it is to tell the boy not to bother you just now. I know how tired we can be at the end of the day and what a hassle it is to have a few littlies crawling all over you, clamouring for a story. It is just so easy to tell them to go off and play somewhere else for a while.

But men, this is a recipe for the ruin of your family, a terrible habit to get into. It is the same mind-set the world around us has, one that looks for every opportunity under the sun to shunt the sprogs off somewhere else, anywhere else, as long as me and the wife can have a bit of relaxed time to ourselves. Listen, we have these sons and

daughters for only such a short season in life; they will be gone and out from under our influence and our roofs soon enough, and “me and the wife” will be on our own with an empty nest soon enough, desperately wishing we had those days back again. Let us not push them out by being emotionally or physically absent and unavailable to them. No! Instead, we need to learn how to invest in our children’s lives, disciple them for Jesus Christ to become fearless and committed soldiers of the Cross. This certainly won’t happen by itself.

This booklet is a first step along the way.

To order do one of the following:

send email to sales@hef.org.nz with visa number

post cheque or visa number to PO Box 9064, Palmerston North

fax: 06 357-4389

phone: 06 357-4399

Trademe (fees added):  http://www.trademe.co.nz/Members/Listings.aspx?member=2366144

Sella (No added fees):  http://www.sella.co.nz/store/4ym9qg/home-education-foundation/display-100/

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Review of Informal Learning by Dr Alan Thomas

Informal Learning

Dr Alan Thomas
(Review by Craig Smith)
Group of Children
In their book A Perfect Mess: The Hidden Benefits of
Disorder, Eric Abrahamson and David Freedman show that
moderately disorganized people and institutions are
frequently “more efficient, more resilient, more creative
and, in general, more effective than highly organized
ones.” And probably more successful too. They
cite a survey that found that the higher the salary, the
messier the person: “Sixty-six percent of Americans
making $35,000 or less are self-described ‘neat freaks,’
whereas only 11 percent of those earning above
$75,000 claim the same.” Abrahamson and Freedman
are at the forefront of what one might call the “anti
anti-clutter movement.” They are encouraging people
to invite confusion into their lives in order to be more
creative and productive both personally and at work. In
an article in Inc. magazine, they advise us to “be inconsistent,
pile up, blur categories, make noise, bounce around, get
distracted.” Sound like any kid you know?
Unschooled kids are a good example of how making a
mess gets things done. And usually, the more they’re
learning, the bigger the mess they create. Places that
stress neatness, order and quiet might make good retreat
spas, but they don’t function well as learning environments.1
When I first heard about unschooling and read up a bit
on its number one promoter, a life-long bachelor and
career school teacher named John Holt (author of
Growing without Schooling), I was put right off by
much of Holt’s radical secular philosophy. However,
I’ve met a few young people who have been home educated
in this manner, and I must say, they were articulate
and creative. Maybe not as disciplined nor as methodical
nor as predictable as most Christians would
like their children to aspire to, nor generally as reverent,
but these are only generalities. And not everyone
defines “unschooling” as did Holt. Our family consider
ourselves “unschoolers” in the academics (but very
hands-on in character training) for we consciously
adopt unschool-like, non-institutional-like ways, even
though we realise the term “Christian unschoolers” is a
contradiction in terms to American homeschoolers.
Nevertheless, a lot of what is written about unschooling
rings true.
Dr Alan Thomas is Visiting Fellow at the University of
London Institute of Education. He was formerly at the
Northern Territory University, Darwin, Australia. He is
a Fellow of the British Psychological Society. In 2006,
he wrote an essay on this topic that started out just as
we’d all like to read:
Originally, the research I wanted to do was into
what children actually learn in the classroom. My
gut feeling was that schooling was totally inefficient,
that children spend a lot of time learning very little.
At the back of my mind all the time was the question,
“What is it that is wrong with the way children learn
in school?” An advantage of teaching in a university
was that I had the freedom to research what I
wanted. So I thought, “Well, how do children learn?
Let’s look right back to classical times to see what
philosophers and other educational thinkers had to
say about children’s learning. Across more than two
millennia, what they nearly all said was that the best
way to “teach” children was individually.2
Dr Thomas points out how everyone knows this, including
the schooling establishment: Even in modern
times, educators talking about the best way of teaching
children refer to individualized teaching. The interests
of the individual are paramount. It simply doesn’t
make sense to teach 30 at the same time. You can’t
individualize in the classroom. But the rhetoric of
classroom teaching is that this is exactly what you do.2
Most of us home educators, like Dr Thomas here, have
long recognised that schools say one thing and do
something quite the opposite. On top of that, classroom
teachers often belabour a point unnecessarily, hoping
to teach a nugget of wisdom, when the fact is, the children
already know it. Dr Thomas refers to a book by
Barbara Tizard called Young Children Learning at
Home and in School (1984, Fontana):
The book studied children who were half-time at a
nursery and half-time at home, a standard thing in the
British education system. They wanted to see what
their language was like at home and in school. What
they expected was a big class difference…But what
they found astounded them. Working class or middle
class, the level of language used between children and
parents at home was of a far higher standard than that
used in school. Not only was it of a higher standard,
but also the children themselves were able to follow
their own logical means of enquiry. Whereas in school
the typical example they give is when a child walks up
to a teacher with a piece of paper and says, “Can you
cut it in half for me please?” and the teacher thinks
“Aha! Here’s a teaching opportunity.” So she says,
“Go and get the scissors then.” And the child gets
them. By now the teacher has been distracted by a lot
of things and then says, “Now what am I doing now? I
am cutting it in …, what am I doing to this piece of paper?”
“You’re cutting it,” the child says. “Yes, but
what am I cutting it into, in two pieces, so what am I
cutting it in?” The child says, “You’re cutting it for me
into two pieces.” This goes on for a bit until the teacher
says, “I’m cutting it in half.”2
Sadly, the teacher never picked up on the fact that the
child’s initial question was, “Can you cut it in half for
me please?” NZ’s own Dr Graeme Nuttall of Canterbury
University confirmed during a whole lifetime of
educational research that students already know at least
50% of what teachers teach.3
Dr Thomas was invited to Tasmania to do some research
on home educators there: “Eventually I got a
total of a hundred families taking part in my research. I
found a few who carefully stuck to a school approach,
a majority doing some structured work in the mornings,
leaving the rest of the day free, and a small number
who were completely and utterly informal, doing
what the North Americans call “unschooling,” what is
sometimes known in Britain as “autonomous,” and in
Australia as “natural learning.” I would not for a moment
say one approach is better than another. Perhaps
the best advice, commonly given to new home educators
who are unsure of themselves, is to start with a
structured approach and adapt as you go along.”2
In his research on this idea of “informal” or “natural”
learning, Dr Thomas came up with two influences that
seemed to shift parents toward adopting such an approach:
[F]irst, the gradual realization that school at
home doesn’t work. You don’t need a timetable. These
families had started with, for example, planned lessons
and then learned it was not necessary. You just carry
on from where you were before. Lesson planning, curriculum
planning and timetables just aren’t needed at
all, even if you stay fairly formal. There is no point in
giving exercises because if you can do something, you
can do it. There is no need to prove it over and over
again. There is no need for marking or assessment because
you know exactly what your child is up to. The
beauty of it is the interactive element. Because you always
know where your child is at, you’re not wasting children
are learning anyway outside the formal system,
then there is a move away from formal learning.
Some parents abandoned formal teaching altogether as
a result. This is fascinating because it pointedly challenges
establishment wisdom and educational theory.2
Trying to understand informal learning is difficult.
Learning without knowing you’re learning is very hard
to document. One home schooling mum in Tasmania
illustrated the phenomenon like this:
“I really feel sometimes I want to say, ‘Right, let’s get
that text book out and let’s get on with some proper
learning!’.” But she didn’t and the child continued to
learn. In fact, this child learned everything except what
her mother tried to teach her, which was the multiplication
tables, and this was when she was 10 or 11. But
she did learn her 20 times table before any of the others
because she found out that you could get money from
supermarket trolleys. At the time this was 20 cents, so
when she was only about five or six years old, she
knew her 20 times table. The motivation was there to
learn. By the age of 11 she was on a par with what
children in school had learned.
Then there is informal learning that is goal-directed –
for example a child spurred to find out about Roman
life after seeing a film. There is a world of difference
between this kind of learning and being taught it as
part of a curriculum in school.2
Current research into “informal Learning” shows that
professional people, lawyers and doctors, are constantly
learning and advancing through their everyday
work and by being with colleagues. Dr Thomas referred
to a good example of this in a study with Brazilian
carpenters: [W]ithout ever having been on a course,
[they] have a better understanding of math related to
carpentry than do apprentices who have just finished a
taught course of the same material. These people are
simply learning alongside others who are better at it
than they are, and they gradually pick it up.2
Very young children apparently will learn quite a lot in
a similar way. They are pre-disposed to learn what is
important in their own culture: that is, the Lord has us
wired up at least from birth to pick up clues all around
us and discover those things that others around us
deem as important. These things very young children
will mimic and strive to learn: when they see that
adults value reading and writing, they will pick up pencils
and books and pretend to read and write. It is well
known that many children, by no means all, will actually
teach themselves to read.
Certainly, doing school at home is generally far less
productive than one-to-one interaction over the course
of performing everyday chores and errands and projects.
The basic skills that must be mastered – reading,
writing and arithmetic – may require some intensive
formal tuition, but all other subjects can be taught –
that is, picked up by the student – by reading books
together, doing projects, going on field trips to museums,
science centres or other more relevant areas of the
real world such as the home, the community, the work
any time and it’s highly intensive.
That’s getting informal already by official educational
standards, but it goes further than this because the parents
realized that their children were learning a lot outside
the formal system. Because it was so intensive,
most parents in my study group came to restrict teaching
or structured learning to an hour or two in the
morning. They came to realize that their children were
learning a lot outside this time without being taught.
Phrases like, “I don’t know where he got that from, he
just knows it,” or even, “We do a course in math but
more math seems to happen.”
The second very important influence was from some of
the children themselves. These are children who resist
formal learning. At first this was terrible for the families.
Parents told me that they were prepared to teach a
very interesting lesson, and the children resisted learning
in this way; their eyes would become glazed…they
weren’t interested! Now, there is a significant difference
here between school and home. In school you
don’t have all the children listening all the time, but
you can’t just say, “Well we’ll stop there and do what
you want for an hour.” You have to continue to teach
the lesson regardless of who is listening or not listening.
But at home, the feedback that you get is acute,
and parents find it is pointless to keep teaching in this
way. If you ally this with the observation that these
place and the market place.
“Does not wisdom cry out, And understanding lift up
her voice? She takes her stand on the top of the high
hill, Beside the way, where the paths meet. She cries
out by the gates, at the entry of the city, At the entrance
of the doors,” (Proverbs 8:1-3). We can introduce her
(wisdom) to our children out there in the real world…it
is debatable whether she is hanging around in an artificial
classroom setting.
Notes:
1. From the Editorial by Wendy Priesnitz, Life Learning,
March/April 2007, LifeLearningMagazine.com.
2. Alan Thomas, “What life learning parents can teach the
world about the nature of learning,” www.
lifelearningmagazine.com/0704/MarApr07.pdf. This essay
first appeared in “Learner-Managed Learning and
Home Education: A European Perspective,” Leslie Barson,
ed, (2006 Educational Heretics Press.) For information,
3. “It’s About Bluff,” Keystone, Vol. XIV, No. 73, January
2008, p. 11.

Some extra links:

http://www.infed.org/biblio/home-education.htm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kakCOKJ9AUE

http://www.howchildrenlearnathome.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&view=frontpage&Itemid=1

From Keystone Magazine

July 2008, Vol. XIV No. 75
P O Box 9064
Palmerston North
Phone: (06) 357-4399
Fax: (06) 357-4389
email: craig@hef.org.nz

To order a subscription to Keystone Magazine do one of the following:

send email to sales@hef.org.nz with visa number

post cheque or visa number to PO Box 9064, Palmerston North, New Zealand

fax: 06 357-4389

phone: 06 357-4399

Trademe (fees added):  http://www.trademe.co.nz/Members/Listings.aspx?member=2366144

Sella (No added fees):  http://www.sella.co.nz/store/4ym9qg/home-education-foundation/display-100

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Sanctifying Our Sons and Daughters-part 1

Sanctifying Our Sons and Daughters

by Craig Smith
Listen Dads: we know our society today is saturated in
sex and sensuality. It is simply evil. We need a wellthought
strategy to help ourselves and our children survive
with anything like a healthy sexual outlook.
Sex education in schools has become little more than
pornographic how-to sessions. It is totally unacceptable.
Actually, “sex” education in NZ has been supplanted
in the schools by “sexuality” education. It is
equally pornographic but with perversions added.
Rather than being strictly “how-to,” this new stuff
helps children work out what gender they want to be.
On page 22 of the NZ Curriculum (published in November
2007), you will read that sexuality education is
one of “the seven key areas of learning…to be included
in teaching and learning programmes at both primary
and secondary levels” right along side things like
“physical activity, sport studies and outdoor education.”
See that? Exploring one’s sexuality is now considered
by our government educational gurus to be just
another recreational activity. Morality has gone completely
out the window. I Thessalonians 4:3 says that
the will of God for us and our children is our sanctification,
that we abstain from sexual immorality. Apart
from the marvelous efforts of Christians and other
moral people teaching in the government schools, the
NZ Curriculum will guide young people into all kinds
of perverted immorality. Government schools are no
longer suitable places for Christians to leave their children.
That’s why we’re home educating.
Let’s first try to get the Big Picture, a fuller context of
what we’re trying to do. Here in our culture, what you
might call the Western Christian Civilisation, we have
copied the classical Greek way of thinking. That is, we
take a logical, compartmentalised approach to knowledge.
But we need to realise that life is, in fact, an integrated
whole. Conventional schooling follows the logical
approach: we study maths, put it aside, pick up
English grammar, then lay that aside to concentrate on
History. But you never hear anyone point out the connections
and interrelationships among all the academic
disciplines of maths, English, History and all the rest.
Such a wholistic, knowledge-is-integrated approach is
more in line with the Hebrew or Biblical way of thinking:
after all, we do live in a Universe, God and His
word being the unifying factor. We do not live in a
multi-verse of many different truths, many different
realities.
In communicating with our children, therefore, it makes
a lot more sense not to deal with such things as sex in
isolation, as if it could be dealt with quite adequately all
by itself as a standalone, separate subject. We would be
better to consider sex, and all things else, in a much
wider context in our discussions. In addition, we need
to model for our children – as well as instruct them in –
every day morality; modesty in dress and speech;
decency; how men are wired up; how women are wired
up; what constitutes proper social intercourse, politeness
and manners; the purpose and roles of marriage, child-
rearing, etc., etc. These and many other factors of life, all
being interrelated, provide the wider context in which
we can then more properly understand and discuss, as
appropriate, sexual issues with our children. The
instruction starts from day one, not all of a sudden when
they reach the preteen years.
Perhaps we should also first of all lay to rest some of
our most cherished cultural fairy tales. The idea of
“falling in love” is deceitful. We cannot allow ideas
such as “falling in love and then seeing where that will
lead” to take root in our children’s minds. One of the
obvious problems is that our sexualised culture puts no
restrictions on where “falling in love” might lead. This
fairy tale concept of love is seen as one of the highest
forms of good one can pursue in life. You’ve heard the
ridiculous ways in which this idea is lionised: “It is
better to have loved and lost than never to have loved
at all.” “Love is never having to say you’re sorry.” To
begin with, these ideas are totally at odds with Biblical
“agape” love, which is a unilateral and disciplined decision
to rest your best actions, attentions and intentions
upon another no matter what, no matter how the
other responds. Those fairy-tale ideas about love are
expressions of purely selfish erotic love and have no
thought for the welfare of the other person.
This “falling in love” idea wreaks havoc with the
hearts and emotions of an ever-widening set of people.
Look again at I Thessalonians 4, at verses 3-6 this
time. It implies very strongly that not only are we parents
to play our part in sanctifying our children, helping
them to abstain from sexual immorality, but that
we should teach them how to take a spouse for themselves
or control their own bodies (depending on your
translation) in holiness and honour. We certainly do
not get this kind of coaching from TV or billboard
advertisements. In addition, it says we are not to chase
after a spouse “in the passion of lust like the heathen
who do not know God.” Wow! Messing around sexually,
presented to our young people from all sides by
the worldly culture around us as nothing more than another
form of physical recreation, is referred to here in
Scripture as a characteristic of those who are heathen.
We and our children’s lives must stand out as clearly
different to that kind of thing. And verse 6 says something
interesting: “that no man transgress and wrong
his brother in this matter.” So how does one wrong a
brother in this matter? Well, apart from the obvious
one of defiling another man’s wife or daughter (or another
woman’s husband or anyone’s child), one can
wrong a brother by flirting with a girl’s emotions,
breaking her heart, damaging her in other ways, then
moving on. She and her future husband are both
wronged by such behaviour. My wife has been counselling
a woman who has fallen in love with a string of
men, producing a total of six children to four of them.
Some of the children have identity problems, wondering
who to attach to, the biological or day-time parents.
The abortion she had was quite traumatic for some of
the children, for the murdered child was their sibling,
and it was traumatic for the family with whom the children
lived. I’ve talked to guys who have sired so many
so-called “love” children over the years, they cannot
help but wonder at times if the pretty young thing
they’re currently chasing isn’t in fact their own daughter…
that they might be close to committing incest.
This is where “falling in love” leads to right here in
New Zealand. It’s a total disaster. We need to thoroughly
repudiate the whole concept.
When young people do come to an age to consider
marriage, the young man and the young woman need
to review carefully how they might fit together culturally,
theologically, doctrinally; how committed they
each are to Scripture; how close they are in their concepts
of family, child bearing, child rearing, education,
roles within the home, finances, incurring debt, insurance
issues, commitment to aging parents, etc., etc.
Plenty of people have “fallen in love” and married…
only to find themselves married to near strangers with
a whole head full of foreign and even ugly ideas about
how things should be.
Draw up a time-line for each of your children with an
80-year life span. Mark off the halfway point, 40, and
the half-way point of that, 20. Point out that by the time
they reach the customary entrance to adulthood, age
20, a full quarter of their allotted years are gone.
Most of that last quarter of their lives, from 60 to death
at around 80, is usually thought of as “retirement”,
though both you and they should be re-thinking that
entirely, for at age 65, unless your health is really failing,
you should be an expert in your field, your calling,
full of wisdom and incredible life experiences, and you
should also be well along the road of sanctification and
growth in godliness, bearing the fruit of the Spirit: love,
joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22). You should
be an incredibly valuable asset to your family, your
church, your community…I’d say there is a very good
argument that only such men qualify as Elders in the
church since only they are actually elder. Oopps, I’ve
digressed again.
Point out on the timeline that your children have a
mere 10 years from around age 11 or so when they are
just starting to think straight, until entering into
adulthood at 20 to get their act together. If they (or you
as parents) mentally “write-off” the years from 13 to 17
as those wild, hormone-raging teenaged years when
you can’t expect much out of them except grunts and
rebellious attitudes, you have grievously undermined
your child’s primetime for setting the stage for the rest
of their lives. But look at the timeline again: straight
away you can see that there are unavoidable seasons:
childhood, young adult, married, career building, family
building, empty nest years, growing old. Until age 20
you and your children simply need to be concentrating
on getting the foundations solidly laid in their lives:
basic education, character training, work ethic and all
forms of home economics. A 20-year-old should be
able to do all the family budgeting, menu planning,
shopping, meal preparation and balance the cheque-
book. These are nothing more than basic survival skills…
and note that I didn’t even mention earning the income
to balance the chequebook…the boys for certain will
have to add that one on later. The early- and mid-20s
seem to be given over these days to gaining requisite
training: a university degree, trade certificate…
establishing some kind of career path qualifications.
If your sons get married at 25, have 5 children by age
38, then the youngest one (your grandchild) will turn
16 when your sons turn 54. The oldest one (of your
grandchildren) by then will be around 27…so in fact,
by then, your child could be a grandparent and you a
great-grandparent. So your child is 54, still has a teen
at home, has a married child and a grandchild, maybe a
couple of children at trade school or university, is at or
nearing the top rung of his career path, and you, the
parent of this powerhouse of a child now aged 54, are
over 75 and may be in declining health. What do you
want to be doing at age 75? Are you planning for it?
Draw up your own timeline of your own life. You may
be stunned to see how, as the work responsibilities
started to increase, so did your family and child rearing
and mortgage and other responsibilities. That period
between roughly 30 and 55 on your timeline should be
bulging with responsibility, while the earlier years look
slim and carefree.
Can you see the huge pile of responsibility your child
will have at this point if he has 5 children, a mortgage
and a career? More importantly, with the help of that
timeline, can your child see it and that it will require
that he be made of stern stuff? Where does your 14-
year-old want to be at age 54, in 40 years? He/she
needs to start planning for that now, planning for it, not
just hoping it will happen. Those few single years from
when our children’s rational minds start coming together,
until they can establish their own households,
are so vital, so crucial to how well they’ll be able to
handle the responsibilities, we simply cannot let them
slip by.
If they have not been regenerated by God’s Holy Spirit
until sometime late in their teens, it is going to be a real
challenge to get them to do all for the glory of God,
including the planning for their career paths, until then.
We don’t assume they are regenerate because they are
born into our Christian family, although clearly the
Scriptures indicate our children are “holy” by their believing
parentage alone (I Corinthians 7:14). But we do
have every reason to hope that they will be regenerated,
and so we train them up in the nurture and admonition
of the Lord, inculcating the one true worldview,
that Jesus Christ is Lord of all (Ephesians 1:21-23, Philippians
2:9-11) and commands all men every where to
repent (Acts 17:30). We do not train them up in the
nurture and admonition of the Lord, with family devotions
every day, Scripture memory several times a
week, involvement and commitment to the Church,
training them to acknowledge the supreme authority of
and to live every area of life according to the Scriptures…
to think that they can then choose to go their
own way. No. Jesus Christ is the Way and the Truth
and the Life. End of story.
We have a lot to do to prepare our children for all of
life, and they have a lot to do to get prepared for life…
and we just don’t have time to mess around. Make
every day count. I’ve seen my oldest three leave home,
and I am embarrassed at how woefully little I did to
prepare them. I had always planned to take my sons
fishing. I’ve got most of the gear. But I never did…in
all those 20 years they were at home, I never did. I
mean, how hard could it have been? I am here to tell
you: 20 years slips by mighty fast.
However, by God’s grace, these three are doing well.
And again by God’s grace, we have two more adopted
sons…I have another shot at it. Pray that I don’t miss
or squander those many daily opportunities this time
around.

From Keystone Magazine

July 2008, Vol. XIV No. 75
P O Box 9064
Palmerston North
Phone: (06) 357-4399
Fax: (06) 357-4389
email: craig@hef.org.nz

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