October 25, 2014


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Stay-at-home mothers ‘have the most worthwhile lives’

Official ‘well-being’ index shows those who do not work because they are caring for children or loved-ones have strongest belief that their life is ‘worthwhile’

from this link

Mothers who have put their career aside to care for their children have a stronger sense that their lives are “worthwhile” than the rest of society, official figures suggest.

New findings from the UK’s national “well-being” index show that those classed as economically inactive because they are caring for a family or home are also among the happiest people in Britain.

They were asked to do this in relation to four separate questions: how satisfied they are with their lives overall; whether they feel that what they do is worthwhile; how happy they were the previous day and how anxious they were the previous day.

When the results are broken down by work status pensioners emerged as the happiest overall, with a rating of 7.73 out of 10, but students and stay-at-home mothers or carers also scored noticeably higher than average.

But when responses to the question on how “worthwhile” people consider what they do in life to be were analysed, those looking after home or family emerged well ahead of other groups, scoring 8.03 out of 10 on average.

Overall 83 per cent of full-time parents and carers rated their sense of worth as high or very high.

Laura Perrin, a barrister turned full-time mother who campaigns from the group Mothers At Home Matter said the figures showed that government policies designed to encourage more parents to work full time could be doing more harm than good.

“This just goes to show that the idea that we are all at home depressed and unhappy looking after our own children – which a lot of politicians would like to believe – is simply wrong,” she said.

“It is clearly a worthwhile vocation, should you choose to do it.”

They are not only making their own family happy but also making a contribution to society as a whole.

To read the full article go to: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/mother-tongue/11118738/Stay-at-home-mothers-have-the-most-worthwhile-lives.html

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From the Smiths:

http://hef.org.nz/2011/craig-smith-26-january-1951-to-30-september-2011/

Updated 22 September 2014:  Two years on (Craig Smith’s Health) page 7 click here

*****

Needing help for your home schooling journey:

http://hef.org.nz/2011/needing-help-for-your-home-schooling-journey-2/

And

Here are a couple of links to get you started home schooling:

Information on getting startedhttp://hef.org.nz/getting-started-2/

and

Information on getting an exemptionhttp://hef.org.nz/exemptions/

This link is motivational: http://hef.org.nz/2012/home-schooling-what-is-it-all-about/

Exemption Form online: http://hef.org.nz/2012/home-schooling-exemption-form-now-online/

Coming Events: http://hef.org.nz/2013/some-coming-events-for-home-education-during-2013-2/

Beneficiaries: http://hef.org.nz/2013/where-to-for-beneficiary-families-now-that-the-social-security-benefit-categories-and-work-focus-amendment-bill-has-passed-its-third-reading/

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NZ Herald poll: Home school

In today’s NZ Herald poll (http://www.nzherald.co.nz/ middle of the page) is a poll on which education method is best.

The 3rd option is “Home school”. Now running at 4%. Maybe we could get it higher? :-)

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Learning to put the camera down

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It may seem counter-intuitive, especially in today’s “take and share pictures of everything” society, but research published in the journal Psychological Science points out that if you really want to commit something to memory, you’re better off looking and focusing on it – not taking a picture for later review.

Essentially, the bottom line is that we commit things to memory better when we give singular focus to the thing we want to remember.

Taking out our phone or camera and trying to take a picture fractures that focus, and makes it more difficult for our brains to cement the memory. Dr Linda Henkel of Fairfield University set up an experiment at an art museum that went something like this:

Undergraduates were led on a tour around the museum and were asked to take note of certain objects, either by photographing them or by simply observing them. The next day, their memory for the objects was tested.

The data showed that participants were less accurate in recognising the objects they had photographed compared to those they had only observed. Furthermore, they weren’t able to answer as many questions about the objects’ visual details for those objects they had photographed.

Henkel calls this the “photo-taking impairment effect”:

“When people rely on technology to remember for them – counting on the camera to record the event and thus not needing to attend to it fully themselves – it can have a negative impact on how well they remember their experiences,” she explains.

A second study replicated these findings, but it also presented an interesting twist: Taking a photograph of a specific detail on the object by zooming in on it with the camera seemed to preserve memory for the object, not just for the part that was zoomed in on but also for the part that was out of frame.

Read more here……

 

 

 

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Screaming at Your Misbehaving Teen May Backfire

 

By Dr. Mercola

Most parents have raised their voices when disciplining their children, but new research suggest that doing so – especially if it involves shouting, cursing or using insults – may be counterproductive and end up making your child more disobedient.

The study, which involved nearly 1,000 13-year-olds and their parents, even found that the effects of harsh verbal punishment may be just as harmful to kids as physical discipline.1

(I disagree with this statement in this article. I am sure he meant to say “abuse” not “physical discipline”. See this for the difference: http://familyintegrity.org.nz/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/spanking-vs-ca.pdf-Barbara)

These Were Not ‘High-Risk’ Families

The researchers stressed that their findings likely apply to many average American families, where the parents love their children, care about them and want them to avoid problem behaviors. The study’s lead researcher stated:

“There was nothing extreme or broken about these homes. These were non ‘high-risk’ families. We can assume there are a lot of families like this…”

In short, the study found that when parents used harsh verbal discipline it predicted an increase in conduct problems and depressive symptoms in the child between ages 13 and 14. Furthermore, the children were more likely to continue their misbehavior and demonstrated behavioral problems such as vandalism or anti-social and aggressive behavior.

The damaging effects were similar to those seen with physical punishments (Abuse not Physical punishments-Barbara) and they continued even if parents were yelling ‘out of love’ and also showed warmth and emotional support. In other words, the study’s lead author said:2, 3

“Even if you are supportive of your child, if you fly off the handle it’s still bad.

…Our findings offer insight into why some parents feel that no matter how loud they shout, their teenagers do not listen… Indeed, not only does harsh verbal discipline appear to be ineffective at addressing behavior problems in youth, it actually appears to increase such behaviors.”

Criticizing, Insulting and Berating Will Backfire

Experts recommend that parents communicate with their children on an equal level, and explain the reasons for consequences or concerns about their behaviors calmly.

As punishment, you may have more success taking away their video games or car keys than shouting at the top of your lungs, especially if you’re using shaming or berating words.

Ideally, you should be able to firmly set limits and establish open communication with your child without having to resort to yelling insults or name-calling. Of course, if you’ve raised your voice to your child on occasion, there’s no need to feel guilty or worry about the long-term consequences; the study is referring more so to harsh verbal discipline than simply raising your voice.

Rahil Briggs, director of pediatric behavioral health services at Montefiore Medical Center, told WebMD:4

” …it’s important to point out that we’re not just talking about shouting in frustration, which everybody has done. It’s one thing entirely to raise your voice at your child. That happens. But it’s another thing entirely to say to your teen ‘you’re dumb’ or lazy, or issue vulgarities.

The issue is that your parents are supposed to be on your side, on your team. But here we’re talking about verbal intimidation and humiliation, which is in many ways the most damaging to children trying to find their way in life.”

Giving Children an Effective Emotional Outlet Is Important

Children feel stress, too – often intensely. They worry about making friends, succeeding at school or sports, and fitting in with their peers. They may also struggle with the divorce of their parents or feel anxious about war and violence they see on the news.

While a child’s natural state is to be happy, vibrant and curious, it’s estimated that up to 15 percent of children and teens are depressed at any given time,5 and this could certainly be contributing to problem behaviors.

Many of the same worries that make you feel anxious and sad have the same impact on your children, and just as you need emotional outlets and time for relaxation and stress-relief, so, too, does your child.

One important way to do this is by offering unstructured playtime for kids or free time for teens. This is essential for kids to build their imagination, relieve stress and simply be kids.

Yet today, many kids are so over-scheduled that they scarcely have time to eat dinner and do homework, let alone have any free time for play. Even the American Academy of Pediatrics states that free, unstructured play is essential for children to manage stress and become resilient, as well as reach social, emotional and cognitive development milestones.6

 

Have You Addressed the Basics to Improving Problem Behaviors?

‘Mental disorders’ are loosely defined as “serious changes in the ways children handle their emotions, learn, or behave,” and run the gamut from mood disorders and substance abuse to learning disorders and more serious mental illness. While there are no easy remedies for more problematic issues like autism, a wide variety of mood, learning and behavioral problems in children are related to improper diet, emotional upset or stress, and exposure to environmental toxins.

I have successfully treated many hundreds of children with behavioral and mental challenges and have consistently seen them improve once the underlying toxicities and food changes were addressed, so parents let me assure you that there is hope! To address these underlying factors in your child, without resorting to verbal shouting matches or even drug treatment:

Dramatically reduce or eliminate grains and sugars in your child’s diet — yes, even healthy organic whole grains (especially wheat) can cause problems. Try eliminating them first for 1-2 weeks and see if you notice a radical and amazing improvement in your child’s behavior. Replace soft drinks, fruit juices, and pasteurized milk in your child’s diet with pure water.
Give your child plenty of high-quality, animal-based omega-3 fats like krill oil. Also limit their intake of vegetable oils, as they are loaded with damaged omega-6 fats. Make sure your child gets plenty of exercise and outdoor playtime in the sunshine, ideally walking on the earth barefoot.
Avoid giving your child ANY processed foods, especially those containing artificial colors, flavors, and preservatives. Instead, focus their diet on whole, ideally organic, foods to avoid both pesticides and genetically engineered ingredients. Provide your child a way to address his or her emotional stressors.

Read more here……

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From the Smiths:

http://hef.org.nz/2011/craig-smith-26-january-1951-to-30-september-2011/

Updated: 30 September 2013:  One year on (Craig Smith’s Health) page 7 click here

*****

Needing help for your home schooling journey:

http://hef.org.nz/2011/needing-help-for-your-home-schooling-journey-2/

And

Here are a couple of links to get you started home schooling:

http://hef.org.nz/getting-started-2/

and

http://hef.org.nz/exemptions/

This link is motivational:http://hef.org.nz/2012/home-schooling-what-is-it-all-about/

Exemption Form online:http://hef.org.nz/2012/home-schooling-exemption-form-now-online/

Coming Events:http://hef.org.nz/2013/some-coming-events-for-home-education-during-2013-2/

Beneficiaries: http://hef.org.nz/2013/where-to-for-beneficiary-families-now-that-the-social-security-benefit-categories-and-work-focus-amendment-bill-has-passed-its-third-reading/

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2013 NZ Home Education Survey – deadline 18 November

In the early days of Home Education in New Zealand Craig organised a number of surveys through Keystone and TEACH Bulletin. It was good to get as many home educators as possible to answer the surveys. These surveys were very helpful.

I don’t think any surveys have been done for at least 10 years now.

There have been a couple of indepth studies done in the last 10 years.

Beyond Homeschooling NZ 2013 by Jenny Barkley

and

PhD study on Home Education in New Zealand

It would be wonderful if as many people as possible filled out this anonymous survey being done by NCHENZ.

2013 Survey

Please click on this link to access the survey:

2013 NZ Home Education Survey

Our quest to serve the best interests of the Home Education community continues!

As you may know, there are very few studies of home education in New Zealand and therefore very little understanding of the breadth and depth of our community.  We aim to add to that understanding by creating information gathering surveys that are written by home educators for home educators.

We hope to gain a good overview of the New Zealand homeschooling community -  your aims, your concerns and, of course, some basic statistics.  The gathered results may be used to promote the positive aspects of home education, as well as to dispel any myths or misunderstandings held by others in the wider community.

Please note that this survey is anonymous.  We are not collecting any identifiable information about respondents, and individual responses will not be shared.  As this is the case, we ask that you respect the intent of the survey, and fill it in as accurately and fairly as possible.

The survey should take you approximately five minutes to complete and, hopefully, the questions are self-explanatory.  Please complete it at one sitting as it is not possible to return to alter your responses should you exit part way through. The survey will be available until 8am Monday 18th November, after which time we will be closing it to further entries.

If you have any questions regarding the survey, please feel free to contact us by email.

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Please feel free to forward, email, share, etc  – thankyou

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From the Smiths:

http://hef.org.nz/2011/craig-smith-26-january-1951-to-30-september-2011/

Updated: 30 September 2013:  One year on (Craig Smith’s Health) page 7 click here

*****

Needing help for your home schooling journey:

http://hef.org.nz/2011/needing-help-for-your-home-schooling-journey-2/

And

Here are a couple of links to get you started home schooling:

http://hef.org.nz/getting-started-2/

and

http://hef.org.nz/exemptions/

This link is motivational:http://hef.org.nz/2012/home-schooling-what-is-it-all-about/

Exemption Form online:http://hef.org.nz/2012/home-schooling-exemption-form-now-online/

Coming Events:http://hef.org.nz/2013/some-coming-events-for-home-education-during-2013-2/

 

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