Monday, 2 October 2006
The Perfect Match
Here is a story entitled “The Perfect Match” which my Dad shared with me. We found this story in a bulletin from the Friends of Chalcedon ministry called Committees of Correspondence. The author is unknown.
In keeping with the theme of trying to reinstate the Biblical model [of courtship and marriage], there is a story that I have heard Dr. Rushdoony tell more than once that I would like to share with you.
Sometime in the early 1900s a friend of Dr. Rushdoony’s father who lived in the Van area of Armenia had arranged a marriage for his daughter to a young man from a family with similar background, abilities and personality. This young girl, it seemed, had read too many French romance novels, and her head was full of nonsense. She refused to consider this marriage because this young man didn’t look like the heroes of her novels, and she was embarrassed by him.
The plans for the marriage progressed, and as was the custom in Armenia, the groom’s bridal party came to the house of the bride where together both parties would parade to the church. The girl, although dressed for the wedding, refused to cooperate and climbed on top of the roof shouting that she would not come down and marry the young man. At this point the young man decided that this was too embarrassing for him and spoke his mind letting any and all who would hear that “if she didn’t want him, he didn’t want her!” His father turned abruptly to him and told him, “Be quiet! This is none of your business!”
Both families proceeded to overrule the two young people and dragged them off to the church. The priest was furious at the display of them both and ordered the parents to lay them out on their backs and sit on them if need be while he performed the ceremony. At the completion he ordered them, “Get up and get out of here! I am ashamed of you both!”
The wedding guests and families proceeded with the reception which was a big to do. The only people having a terrible time were the bride and groom who were sitting there with grim faces disdainful over the proceedings. Finally, they decided that misery loves company and began to talk with each other. Much to their surprise, they had much in common and agreed to get up and join the party.
The story ends with these two having quite a fruitful and successful marriage and both lived to their old age. Every anniversary, with great laughter, they would recount the story of how they came to be married. As time went on, the grandchildren would beg not to have the story repeated for the umpteenth time, yet according to Dr. Rushdoony, they all enjoyed hearing the details of how they came to be a family.
This is such a wild story with some bizarre elements (the bride climbing onto the roof and the couple having to be sat on while they said, “I do”), but it does have a happy ending! Note the danger of romance novels and also (though I’m not an advocate of marriages arranged contrary to the desires of those to be married) the hullabaloo caused by not trusting one’s parents.
Learning to trust our parents is very important for many reasons. One good reason is that trusting our parents is essential for any future courtship we might enter into. One way we can learn to trust our parents in this area of courtship is to read some courtship books with our parents and discuss them together. Here are some recommendations:
· I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris.
· Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris
· Emotional Purity by Heather Paulsen
· Knights and Fair Maidens by Jeff and Danielle Myers
· His Perfect Faithfulness by Eric and Leslie Ludy
· Christian Courtship Vs the Dating Game by Pastor Jim West
· The Art of Choosing Your Love by Pastor Jim West
As we read these books, we might have all sorts of questions that we will want to discuss together. We might want to share with our parents the things we are looking for in future husbands and our parents might want to share with us what they are looking for in future husbands for us. We might want to talk about how a courtship might work for our own family. For example, if a young man approaches us, will we refer them to our fathers first? And what about if a young man approaches our father first? Will our fathers evaluate the young man before telling us about it? What about physical touch? What boundaries will we establish for our courtships, and what about our engagements? Will we save our first kisses for marriage? The more we discuss these sorts of things with our parents, the more we will grow to trust them in these areas.
For the Greater Glory of God through our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ,
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