After the previous newsletter on the subject of dating and courtship an Issacharian Daughters newsletter reader from New Zealand commented…
“My parents have given me a lot of books to read on courtship such as I Kissed Dating Goodbye and When God Writes Your Love Story. As a family we have traveled a lot and in 2004 we were in Canada (where I was born) for 6 months. Normally we are homeschooled but Mum thought that she would send us to school while we were there. I was in a class with 12 year olds in a small town school and they were already dating. The amount of broken friendships and broken hearts were already evident in the lives of the avid “daters”. When I asked them why they dated, they didn’t even know. They said something like, “If a boy asks us out then we don’t want to say no because then when we want to go out with him then he won’t like us anymore.” I asked them how many people who dated as a 12 year old actually ended up getting married to that person. I think they thought I was crazy. Most of them don’t even know why they are dating and giving their bodies and their hearts away. It is so sad. Fortunately, God has blessed me with a loving Christian homeschooling family. However, sometimes I still wish that I could go back to school in Canada to show some light to my classmates there. ~ a fellow sister in Christ”
And here are two more introductions from girls in New Zealand who are receiving the Issacharian Daughters newsletter.
“Hello to all you wonderful young ladies! My name is Alison. I’m 18 and live on a lifestyle block near Hamilton, New Zealand. I have been home for nearly a year now. I have a lovely younger sister and two younger brothers. I spent 2004 away from home at Teacher’s College. It was a challenging year away for many reasons, as I have had a privileged life; growing up in a sheltered, Christian family. Throughout the year I questioned whether or not I was doing the “right thing.” I really wanted God to make my path clear and He really opened my eyes and spoke to my heart about what was most important, and I returned home. I have been able to help my mother in a big way, pretty much running the house and caring for her as her health does not permit her to do so. I am an accomplished cook and cleaner and a good taxi driver! I enjoy helping my brothers with their schoolwork. We have a bit of a menagerie at our place (cows, sheep, goat, dog, cat, chickens, ducks, rabbits), which my sister and I look after. I enjoy gardening, inventing new recipes, reading, drawing, animals, outdoors, and writing. I do not know where God will take me but I am excited about the future! It is a challenging yet wonderful journey we are taking and I really want to encourage all of you! If anyone would like to write to me I’d love to write back. Email: [Alison gave me her email. If you would like to contact her please email Genevieve and request it.].”
My name is Angela Robb. I am fourteen and the oldest in my family. The youngest of my five younger siblings is two. My parents are fabulous, God-fearing and very encouraging. Because I am the oldest and our family homeschools, I really enjoy helping around the house in things like, teaching my younger siblings, cooking dinner, baking, and cleaning and decorating the home. One of my favourite ways to help decorate our home is with lovely quotes, lyrics or bible verses. Normally I type these up on the computer or download them from the internet. Then I change them into a nice font and/or colour and print, decorate and sometimes laminate them. Having them around the house not only makes it look nice but also encourages my family and me everytime we see them. Some other things that I am passionate about are animals, gardening and any type of activities involving God’s creation. I also like knitting, doing crafts and playing games with other people outside. At the moment our whole family is preparing for a major change in lifestyle. We are all moving to China in February next year. This will definately be a huge change but already God is teaching us through it. Knowing that it is His will and in His perfect plan even if we don’t feel like it has encouraged us deeply. We know that He will grow us through the move. We have been there twice before, but only for short stays: once for five months and once for 10. This time it will be more long-term as we are planning to be there for three years. It will be an amazing adventure but also a very challenging adventure at times. Yet we can feel safe knowing that the One who holds the future also holds us in His hands. God bless you all as you seek Him with all your heart.
And if anybody else would like to introduce themselves, feel free to send me an email.
LOOKING BACK AND FORWARD
Think about your childhood and the way your parents raised you. Did they ever do things differently to your neighbours? Did they ever limit your association with certain children and increase opportunities to be around others? Did they ever spank you? Did they ever require a certain standard of dress and behaviour? Did they keep you at home so that they could teach you? How has this influenced you? Would you be the person you are today without their loving training, correction, discipline and guidance?
Have you ever thanked them?
It is hard to do things that nobody else is doing. It takes courage.
Our parents probably often faced negative comments for their decisions in raising you. They probably faced rifts in relationships with family members and friends who didn’t want to be friends anymore.
Have we ever thanked them? Have we told them how grateful we are for their decisions and their courage?
What can we do to encourage and support our parents? What can we do to be a blessing to our parents?
As we look forward our futures might include marriage and raising children of our own.
There is something happening in New Zealand right now which makes looking back and looking forward of particular importance. Let me tell you about it so that through this situation we can honour our parents, encourage them and preserve our own parenting abilities.
Many of the members of our Parliament are saying that parents who have spanked their children are violent child abusers. They are calling parents like yours and like mine violent child abusers because they spanked us. The Bible says that when a parent disciplines his child it is a sign that he loves his child and delights in his child (Proverbs 3v12). I know from
my own upbringing that I felt loved when my parents disciplined me consistently.
Because of the terrible things that are being said I think it is very important for us girls to let our parents know that we appreciated their discipline.
The people who are calling good parents like ours child abusers are trying to make it illegal for parents to spank their children here in New Zealand. This is how they want to do it: In Section 59 of the Crimes Act 1961 it says that parents are justified in using force towards their children to correct their children if the force used is reasonable in the circumstances.
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They want to repeal that section so that parents cannot use force towards their children.
This means that not only will spanking be illegal but any sort of action which requires force forcing children to eat their veggies, forcibly taking a crayon away from a child whose intention is to draw on the walls, time out and lots more). They have a Bill before Parliament right now to repeal section 59. The members of Parliament will be discussing whether to
repeal section 59 later on this month.
When I think about getting married one day and having children, I will want to spank them as I seek to train them and mold them. There are two main reasons why I will want to spank my children one day. The first is that I am grateful that my parents spanked me and I can see the fruit of the discipline they instilled in my life. The second reason is that the Lord commends the use of the rod of correction in raising children (Proverbs 22v15, Proverbs
23v13-14). I want to obey God in the way I raise my children.
As we think about communicating to our parents how grateful we are for their courage in raising us the way they did and as we think about the methods we will use when we are parents one day, maybe there is something we can do to stop spanking from becoming illegal.
In New Zealand we have someone called the Commissioner for Children. Her name is Cindy Kiro and she wants to hear what children have to say about issues which effect them.
Repealing section 59 is certainly an issue which effects children!
Unfortunately, she is one of the main ones who think that parents should not be allowed to spank their children because she thinks that spanking is violent. We are children even if we are on the adult end of childhood and maybe we can let her know what we think on this matter: that we are
grateful for the way our parents disciplined us. Maybe we can help her to see that when our parents spanked us it was for our good and we love them for it and that it was not violent and they did not abuse us.
This is what I would suggest that you do:
1. Write down or talk to your parents about how grateful you are to them.
2. You might have recorded things like:
• I’m so thankful that you spanked me and didn’t let me get away with doing
• I always knew you loved me. When I had done something wrong you spanked me quickly which cleared the air. I knew I was forgiven and that you still loved me.
• Some parents yell at their children. I’m so glad that you simply spanked me and hugged me. I would hate to have been yelled at.
• Some parents ground their children which makes the punishment drag on and on. I’m so glad that you simply spanked me. In minutes my offense was dealt with and forgiven and forgotten. Thank you for acting so promptly.
• The discipline you used has made me a disciplined person.
3. Visit this website to learn more about the people who want to make spanking illegal and how they are trying to do this: www.familyintegrity.org.nz. Parliament will be talking about whether to ban spanking towards the end of this month.
4. Communicate to the Children’s Commissioner that you are glad that your parents spanked you. Her email is: firstname.lastname@example.org. Send a copy of your letter to the Prime Minister: email@example.com. If you want a response from the Prime Minister include your postal address in your email. Also send a copy of your letter to your local Member of Parliament. Go to this address for your MPs email address:
3ABB7B19ACDB/40463/ListOfMembers1820096.pdf. Talk to your parents first about writing to these people and make sure they are happy for you to do this.
5. Pray. Ask the Lord to help you to communicate gratefulness and honour to your parents and to help you to be a blessing to them. Ask Him to not allow section 59 to be repealed. Most of all ask Him for His will to be done and for us to accept joyfully His will and to remember that He is sovereign and works all things out for the good of those who love Him.
God bless you in your efforts.
For the Greater Glory of God through our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ,
P.S. Those of you who are not in New Zealand are still welcome to write to our Children’s Commissioner and to our Prime Minister. And, of course, you are still encouraged to thank your parents for all the sacrifices they made on your behalf.
Understanding the Times In Order To Know What To Do ~ 1 Chronicles 12v