June 1, 2023

Schools ban children making best friends

Pals ... but kids told to form groups

Pals … but kids told to form groups
Published: 19th March 2012

TEACHERS are banning schoolkids from having best pals — so they don’t get upset by fall-outs.

Instead, the primary pupils are being encouraged to play in large groups.

Educational psychologist Gaynor Sbuttoni said the policy has been used at schools in Kingston, South West London, and Surrey.

She added: “I have noticed that teachers tell children they shouldn’t have a best friend and that everyone should play together.

“They are doing it because they want to save the child the pain of splitting up from their best friend. But it is natural for some children to want a best friend. If they break up, they have to feel the pain because they’re learning to deal with it.”

Russell Hobby, of the National Association of Head Teachers, confirmed some schools were adopting best-friend bans.

He said: “I don’t think it is widespread but it is clearly happening. It seems bizarre.

“I don’t see how you can stop people from forming close friendships. We make and lose friends throughout our lives.” The Campaign for Real Education, which wants more parental choice in state education, said the “ridiculous” policy was robbing children of their childhood.

Spokesman Chris McGovern added: “Children take things very seriously and if you tell them they can’t have a best friend it can be seriously damaging to them. They need to learn about relationships.”


myView (Deidre)


THIS policy doesn’t just fly in the face of common sense, it’s chilling.

Our childhood friendships are how we begin to learn about love and commitment. Of course they often break up, and that is how we learn resilience so we can cope with rejection later.

Such a ruling has stemmed from teachers lacking confidence and skills to deal with the fall-out from classmates’ rows. But seeing teachers — and parents — cope calmly with conflict and hurt is what our children model themselves on.

Read more here: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4203460/Schools-ban-children-making-best-friends.html


From the Smiths:


Updated 24 February 2012: Life for Those Left Behind (Craig Smith’s Health) page 6 click here


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  1. why would you keep primary kids from making best friends but not the older ones this ban needs to be lifted