ID013 – Emotional Purity — Part 1

Monday, 20 November 2006

Dear Girls,

Emotional Purity — Part 1

A friend of mine wrote the following about emotional purity. What she says is brilliant:

Okay, I finally have a few minutes to sit down and share what’s on my heart regarding emotional purity. God has really taught me a lot in this area over the years. Many times the lessons have come from some hard circumstances, but they were always worth it.

One problem I’ve noticed in my life and in the lives of others in this area is that our tendency is to ignore any attractions we might have to the opposite sex. We tend to feel guilty, like it is wrong to have those attractions, and so our tendency is to stuff the feelings down inside and ignore that they’re there. We won’t admit it to ourselves or our parents, and thus we live our lives in insincerity.

The problem is, those feelings are bound to come out somehow. So rather than admitting the feelings to ourselves, our parents, and God, these feelings manifest themselves in immature ways. Usually by flirting or constantly talking about a certain guy every chance we get. They also come out by manipulating and contriving schemes to get the guy’s attention. We handle our feelings all wrong and it results in heartache.

Thus, I have found that attractions to the opposite sex are, in and of themselves, not sinful. We are not to be consumed with the idea that if we feel attracted to someone, we have failed in our spiritual walk with God. This only results in insincerity, deception, and a lack of focus on the love of God. So here is what I have found to be very freeing in this area of emotional purity:

Admit Your Feelings

Don’t try to pretend like they are not there. Recognize that you have an attraction. Any time we don’t admit feelings to ourselves it results in insincerity, which God hates.

Seek the Counsel of Your Authorities

Tell your parents or authorities how you feel and seek their counsel. I have found in the past that my mom always offers a fresh perspective to any situation I may be in, and she always encourages me in the way I should go.

Refocus Your Attention on Worshipping God

Worshipping God means loving Him with all our hearts, submitting to Him with our will, and knowing Him with our minds. Scripturally, there is absolutely nothing that matters more than worshipping God. We should be consumed with this and constantly live with an attitude of worship. When Christ comes again to set up His kingdom, all we will want do is worship. At that point we will be worshipping Him in the fullness that God intends for us to. (Revelation 7:15-17). But now, if we have accepted Christ, He lives in us so we are able to have a foretaste of the glorious time of worship that is to come (Colossians 1:27).

To me, the most relevant Biblical example of this is Abraham. In Genesis 15, God calls Abraham to feast upon His glory when He exclaims, "I am thy shield and thy exceeding great reward." God was reminding Abraham of the first and greatest commandment, to love God with all his heart, soul, mind and strength (Matthew 22:37). He wanted Abraham to see that his treasure was not in his offspring, but rather in God Himself. The result was total submission to God. When it came time for God to ask Abraham to sacrifice Isaac on the altar, Abraham was ready. Why? Because he saw that God was his reward and because he was willing to do whatever it took to be in fellowship with God.

This is the same thing God is calling us to in our guy-girl relationships. He wants us to fall in love with Him. He wants us to be so consumed with Him that we are willing to count all things as loss that we might gain Christ (Philippians 3:7-11). He wants to see, not marriage or a certain person, but Him as our exceeding great reward. Unless we are totally satisfied in Him alone, we will not be content in our single years or our married years. We have to find that He is the only thing that will satisfy our lonely and hungry hearts. If we look for it in anything or anyone else, we will be utterly disappointed. In fact, the joy we receive from marriage should ultimately be because we are seeking God together with our husbands — that we are exalting and magnifying His name together (Psalm 34:3). This should be the driving force behind all our horizontal fellowship, whether with a husband or friends. We have to learn that our ultimate purpose in life is to bring glory to God by fulfilling the greatest commandment — loving Him with our whole beings.

This is emotional purity.

My friend’s name is Mandy Bearden. She was 21 when she wrote this and enjoys working on the computer, playing her Celtic harp and being with little children.

Heather Paulsen has written a great book on this subject called Emotional Purity. I sell this book and have it on special currently at NZD$20 including postage. For those of you in the USA, you can buy it for USD$12.00 plus postage from This is a great book to share with your brothers, discuss with your parents and give to your friends.

For the Greater Glory of God through our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ,

Genevieve Smith

Issacharian Daughter


I have sent this email to girls who have embraced a vision of victorious daughterhood as well as those who may be thinking about doing so (and even to some girls who may just like some encouragement regarding different areas of home life). Some of the girls are in the USA. Most are in New Zealand. You are welcome to forward this email on to others so long as you do so in its entirety. If you do not want to receive these emails please just send a return email to me stating that fact. If you know of other girls who would be encouraged by receiving these emails, feel free to forward the email to them or send me their email address.