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pdf of Issacharian Daughters – ID067 – click on link below for correct layout and photos
Click here: id068-more-questions-for-suitors.pdf
The next newsletter is attached as a pdf and the text follows this note (for those of you who have trouble opening the pdf).
As many of you subscribed and communicated with me about various things I have noticed that quite a few of you are involved in encouraging others in virtuous womanhood or femininity or modesty, etc. I thought it would be neat some time to compile a list of all the blog or websites, books, newsletters, magazines, writings, etc that you are behind. So send me an email giving me your blog or web address and a quick paragraph with your name and location and a piece explaining the vision/purpose behind your blog. Lord willing I’ll compile a list and share it with all the Issacharian Daughters.
Notes from readersDear Genevieve,I am so incredibly happy for you. Your patient waiting has really paid off. Thank you so much for the Issacharian Daughters newsletter. It is a weekly treat for me and my mother, and sometimes my brother. We all enjoyed reading “The Courting Chair”. Every Monday morning we would hurry to the computer, print off the newsletter and I
would read it aloud, all the while trying not to cry. This is truly a God ordained ministry. Thank you. Thank you. You are a blessing!
In His precious name, Rachel Limback, Farmington, N.M.Dear Genevieve,My best friend and I read your emails and we have been really encouraged by your story and the ‘Courting Chair’ as well. [Visit https://hef.org.nz/ and read ID058 and ID059 for my story or ID061-ID065 to read the Courting Chair series – Ed] Her Bible study has also been talking about ‘future mates’ and what they would like to see in a life partner!! So the two of us got to talking and decided to write up our own lists of what we would like to see in a future life partner. And so that is what we did. And honestly I have been surprised how helpful it has been… I guess for a lot of girls we tend to daydream and wonder ‘is this the one’. I think a lot of the time it is subconscious and we don’t even realize that we are doing it (well at least I find that is true for me). Anyway getting back on course the reason this ‘list’ of mine has been so helpful is that by just talking to guys that I know I can see that they don’t have the qualities or same standards/beliefs that I have or would want in a husband so there isn’t the same emotional attachment as there might have been if I hadn’t done the list!!! (Hope that all made sense). Anyway, thanx so much for your emails. They are really encouraging:) Well I’ve got to go now but I hope you have a wonderful week. Love you.God BlessHannah in New Zealand xoxoxoHere is my response to Hannah: Dear Hannah,You have encapsulated beautifully exactly why it can be so helpful to do up a list! Good on you! It was wonderful to read what you wrote. I found the exact same benefit from doing up a list. Be aware that when you meet someone who does have the things on the list it can become harder to keep your emotions in check! That is when it becomes good to have an open relationship with your dad or mum and enlist their help in remaining emotionally pure and not losing your affections to those who do match the things on the list (because you might meet several of those before God brings along the one He has designed to be your husband!). Love to you,GenevieveDear Genevieve,Oh my you have been blessed with the most beautiful testimony to share with our daughters on the true virtue of courting and engagement. I hope you don’t mind but I have shared it with friends of Clarissa (my 13 year old daughter) and they all loved that Peter asked to “pursue” you. I have also shared with some of my friends and we all sigh wistfully at such romance, the setting, the box, he the real gentleman… (sigh). And I also shared your testimony with a customer who came into the shop and was very discouraged. She is a 27 year old woman was down hearted at her single status and her love to honor her parents (that have recently migrated to NZ with very little ability to speak English) she felt was perhaps more her burden. “Well I know a woman of God that has a testimony which I am sure will encourage you,” I said and I shared your story, well as much as I could remember which I might add was pretty accurate considering I should know it off by heart by now!! She left with a spring in her step and a hope renewed, and I stood there and prayed a thousand blessings for you, you are such a treasure. The Lord bless your parents for the teaching they laid as your foundation, for it is their wisdom too that is imparted. How blessed I and all of us who have this precious gift of Issacharian ministries. Thank you Genevieve.God bless you Genevieve.Much love fromMelissa Morrison in New ZealandRegards,Genevieve
Monday, 10 December 2007
More Questions for Suitors
Here are a lot more questions for suitors (over 90!) and Lord willing there will be Even More Questions for Suitors next week. If you have some questions of your own to contribute, please email them in! These are great questions for our parents to use to analyze a suitor and great questions for us to use in getting to know a suitor too. Many thanks to the girls who sent in some of these questions. The rest are ones that I wrote down in my journal over the years with the intention of asking them of a future suitor. They also include some questions that Pete, my suitor, suggested!
Questions like this do need to come with a warning label! Discussing these questions with a suitor – getting his responses and giving your own – can be an intimate and emotionally bonding exercise. Please use discernment with regard to how and when you use these questions. In my own situation, Dad had spent seven months emailing Pete before he and I met. When Pete and I started going through questions like these together, Dad was already convinced all that was needed was a little bit of chemistry to bring about a courtship, engagement and marriage! I want to advocate taking care because it is no good to become emotionally bonded through a questioning process like this only to have a relationship end, say, because it wasn’t a serious relationship anyway, or because some basic foundational questions weren’t asked first to ensure that you could marry (ie, that a marriage would be an equal yoking). For more information on emotional purity and taking care of your heart and emotions the book Emotional Purity: An Affair of the Heart by Heather Paulsen is excellent. I have this book in stock. Feel free to email me to enquire about ordering it. Normally the price is NZD$26.00 but I have it on sale at present for NZD$18.00 or AUD$19.00 (including postage).
What career are you pursuing? How are you pursuing it (college, apprenticeship, etc.)?
How do you intend to fulfil the dominion mandate?
What is your vision for the future? Where do you think the Lord wants you? What is His will for your life?
What is your or would be our great spiritual purpose i
What particular task have you been created for and called to?
What is your long-term vision for your family?
How do you keep your vision alive?
Do you think it is appropriate to raise our children from a young age to be computer literate?
Do you believe in maiden daughters staying at home or would you want them to get a university degree/career?
What kind of relationship do you have with your father? Your mother? What kind of relationship do you hope to have with your sons? Your daughters?
Do you believe in using birth control?
How many children do you want? How many boys and how many girls?
What do you want to name your children?
What do you believe about child discipline?
What do you believe about homeschooling?
What is your greatest desire for your children? That they would know God?
What is your vision for your family?
What do you believe regarding going into debt?
What do you believe about taking government handouts such as family support?
What do you believe about finances? Cash based or are credit cards ok?
How would you like to deal with money? Will I have a household budget?
As far as you can ascertain…what sort of income level are you likely to live at?
What sort of meals does your family eat? What sort of meals do you want your wife to make?
What sorts of foods do you like? How should I organise meals? ie, main meal at lunch or dinner?
In what ways would you like your future household to be disciplined?
What books do you want on your shelves? For you and your family?
What books do you not want on your shelves?
Where do you want to live?
Husband and Wife Roles and Responsibilities and Relationship
What do you look for in a wife?
How do you define a meek and quiet spirit in a woman? Is this something you look for in a wife?
Do you believe that a wife should submit to her husband? What exactly does this mean to you?
Do you believe that a husband should love his wife as he loves himself? What exactly does this mean to you?
Will you expect your wife to be the sole care giver to your children, or will you take an active role in raising them?
Do you expect your wife to do all the cooking?
What are your views on female dress/appearance?
How can I please you in the way that I dress?
How can I please you in the way that I speak?
How can I please you in the things that I do?
In what ways, in what things do you need a wife to help you?
What things do you see yourself doing with your wife: A. for relaxation?
B. for fun? C. to sanctify her? D. to prepare for the future?
Would you ever require/ask your wife to go into paid employment outside the home?
Would you desire me to be active as a Titus 2 woman? (Particularly after our children have been raised?)
Would you be willing to run with me? Walk with me? Help to keep me accountable to an exercise programme?
How can I show you respect? What would you view as a disrespectful attitude or action from me?
Have you prayed about our courtship/relationship/a possible future marriage with me?
What is your favorite food?
What are some of your favorite TV shows and movies?
What’s your favorite color?
What would be your favourite aspect of friendship? Marriage? Fatherhood? Husbandhood? Having a wife? Owning your own home?
Do you have any food allergies?
In what ways are you disciplined?
In what ways would you like to be disciplined?
Do you like to read out loud?
to be gentlemen?
What place does music have in your life?
In what ways are you like your dad? In what ways are you unlike him?
Who are the influential people in your life? Why?
Who do you read/have you read?
What are your messages?
What do you like to read? What do you not like to read?
What is the nicest complement you have been paid?
How often and how much of the Bible do you read? What have you memorized?
Are you a republican, democrat, etc?
Would you vote for a female presidential candidate?
What if the Government becomes antifamily, statist and totalitarian? Where would we go? What would we do? What about if we can’t spank? What about if we can’t home educate our children? Or can’t worship God/
If homeschooling becomes illegal would you still homeschool? What about spanking?
Relationships in General and Ours in Particular
Do you believe in dating or courtship, and how do you define both of these?
Tell me about your past relationships.
Have you ever kissed anyone?
Do you believe in saving your first kiss for your wedding kiss?
Have you ever had sex? [Girls, as horrible as it is to admit it, this and other similar questions are important to ask in this day and age. Michael Pearl writes an excellent article in this vein for fathers. Perhaps you could give your father the following link and tell him it is to an article which talks about some of the important questions a father would want to ask a future suitor in order to protect his daughter. This is not an article for younger readers to read (or even for most older readers! It is for fathers.).
How far have you gone physically with someone? Do you regret going that far?
Do you have difficulty dealing with lust?
How far do you think is okay to go physically with a girlfriend/boyfriend?
With just a friend?
Is holding hands okay? Hugging?
How much supervision do you think a dating/courting couple should have? Should they be allowed to go on dates alone? Should one of their parents always be present?
Do you think the man should always pay for dates?
Is it wrong for a woman to initiate a relationship with a man? Should a man always be the one to initiate a relationship? Why or why not?
Spiritual Disciplines (Christian Living)
Do you have any convictions about which Christian organizations you give money to?
When sharing your faith, do you believe in preaching “Law to the proud, grace to the humble” or do you believe in telling people that “God has a wonderful plan for your life”?
Do you desire to glorify God in all that you do?
Is attending church every Sunday a priority for you?
Do you believe in elder rule, congregational rule or pastoral rule?
Do you prefer small churches or large churches?
What do you believe about creation vs. evolution?
What is the meaning of life?
What are your beliefs on the end times?
Do you believe the rapture will occur before the tribulation?
What do you believe about heaven and hell?
Books To Read Together
Read through As Unto the Lord: A Tool for Wives Who Want to Glorify God by Pam Forster together and discuss (to understand what each believes about submission and how the wife can honour her husband).
Read Reforming Marriage by Douglas Wilson together and discuss (Other good ones would be Federal Husband by Douglas Wilson and The Fruit of Her Hands by Nancy Wilson).
My minister recommended for pre-marriage counselling that Pete and I read and discuss together Developing Deep Unity in the Marriage Relationship by Wayne Mack and Christian Living in the Home by Jay Adams. Another good resource may be Preparing for Marriage by Wayne Mack.
For the Greater Glory of God through our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ,
I have sent this email to girls who have embraced a vision of victorious daughterhood as well as those who may be thinking about doing so (and even to some girls who may just like some encouragement regarding different areas of home life). Some of the girls are in the USA, UK, Australia and other parts of the world. Most are in New Zealand. You are welcome to forward this email on to others so long as you do so in its entirety. If you do not want to receive these emails please just send a return email to me stating that fact. If you know of other girls who would be encouraged by receiving these emails, feel free to forward the email to them or send me their email address.