Dear Girls,

After the previous newsletter on the subject of dating and courtship an Issacharian Daughters newsletter reader from New Zealand commented…

“My parents have given me a lot of books to read on courtship such as I Kissed Dating Goodbye and When God Writes Your Love Story. As a family we have traveled a lot and in 2004 we were in Canada (where I was born) for 6 months. Normally we are homeschooled but Mum thought that she would send us to school while we were there. I was in a class with 12 year olds in a small town school and they were already dating. The amount of broken friendships and broken hearts were already evident in the lives of the avid “daters”. When I asked them why they dated, they didn’t even know. They said something like, “If a boy asks us out then we don’t want to say no because then when we want to go out with him then he won’t like us anymore.” I asked them how many people who dated as a 12 year old actually ended up getting married to that person. I think they thought I was crazy. Most of them don’t even know why they are dating and giving their bodies and their hearts away. It is so sad. Fortunately, God has blessed me with a loving Christian homeschooling family. However, sometimes I still wish that I could go back to school in Canada to show some light to my classmates there. ~ a fellow sister in Christ”

And here are two more introductions from girls in New Zealand who are receiving the Issacharian Daughters newsletter.

“Hello to all you wonderful young ladies! My name is Alison. I’m 18 and live on a lifestyle block near Hamilton, New Zealand. I have been home for nearly a year now. I have a lovely younger sister and two younger brothers. I spent 2004 away from home at Teacher’s College. It was a challenging year away for many reasons, as I have had a privileged life; growing up in a sheltered, Christian family. Throughout the year I questioned whether or not I was doing the “right thing.” I really wanted God to make my path clear and He really opened my eyes and spoke to my heart about what was most important, and I returned home. I have been able to help my mother in a big way, pretty much running the house and caring for her as her health does not permit her to do so. I am an accomplished cook and cleaner and a good taxi driver! I enjoy helping my brothers with their schoolwork. We have a bit of a menagerie at our place (cows, sheep, goat, dog, cat, chickens, ducks, rabbits), which my sister and I look after. I enjoy gardening, inventing new recipes, reading, drawing, animals, outdoors, and writing. I do not know where God will take me but I am excited about the future! It is a challenging yet wonderful journey we are taking and I really want to encourage all of you! If anyone would like to write to me I’d love to write back. Email: [Alison gave me her email. If you would like to contact her please email Genevieve and request it.].”

“Dear Sisters,

My name is Angela Robb. I am fourteen and the oldest in my family. The youngest of my five younger siblings is two. My parents are fabulous, God-fearing and very encouraging. Because I am the oldest and our family homeschools, I really enjoy helping around the house in things like, teaching my younger siblings, cooking dinner, baking, and cleaning and decorating the home. One of my favourite ways to help decorate our home is with lovely quotes, lyrics or bible verses. Normally I type these up on the computer or download them from the internet. Then I change them into a nice font and/or colour and print, decorate and sometimes laminate them. Having them around the house not only makes it look nice but also encourages my family and me everytime we see them. Some other things that I am passionate about are animals, gardening and any type of activities involving God’s creation. I also like knitting, doing crafts and playing games with other people outside. At the moment our whole family is preparing for a major change in lifestyle. We are all moving to China in February next year. This will definately be a huge change but already God is teaching us through it. Knowing that it is His will and in His perfect plan even if we don’t feel like it has encouraged us deeply. We know that He will grow us through the move. We have been there twice before, but only for short stays: once for five months and once for 10. This time it will be more long-term as we are planning to be there for three years. It will be an amazing adventure but also a very challenging adventure at times. Yet we can feel safe knowing that the One who holds the future also holds us in His hands. God bless you all as you seek Him with all your heart.

Love,

Angela”

And if anybody else would like to introduce themselves, feel free to send me an email.

Warm regards,

Genevieve Smith

Dear Girls,

LOOKING BACK AND FORWARD

Looking back
Think about your childhood and the way your parents raised you. Did they ever do things differently to your neighbours? Did they ever limit your association with certain children and increase opportunities to be around others? Did they ever spank you? Did they ever require a certain standard of dress and behaviour? Did they keep you at home so that they could
teach you? How has this influenced you? Would you be the person you are today without their loving training, correction, discipline and guidance?

Have you ever thanked them?

It is hard to do things that nobody else is doing. It takes courage.

Our parents probably often faced negative comments for their decisions in raising you. They probably faced rifts in relationships with family members and friends who didn’t want to be friends anymore.

Have we ever thanked them? Have we told them how grateful we are for their decisions and their courage?

Looking forward
What can we do to encourage and support our parents? What can we do to be a blessing to our parents?

As we look forward our futures might include marriage and raising children of our own.

There is something happening in New Zealand right now which makes looking back and looking forward of particular importance. Let me tell you about it so that through this situation we can honour our parents, encourage them and preserve our own parenting abilities.

Many of the members of our Parliament are saying that parents who have spanked their children are violent child abusers. They are calling parents like yours and like mine violent child abusers because they spanked us. The Bible says that when a parent disciplines his child it is a sign that he loves his child and delights in his child (Proverbs 3v12). I know from
my own upbringing that I felt loved when my parents disciplined me consistently.

Because of the terrible things that are being said I think it is very important for us girls to let our parents know that we appreciated their discipline.

The people who are calling good parents like ours child abusers are trying to make it illegal for parents to spank their children here in New Zealand. This is how they want to do it: In Section 59 of the Crimes Act 1961 it says that parents are justified in using force towards their children to correct their children if the force used is reasonable in the circumstances.

Issacharian daughters
4 Tawa Street
Palmerston North
New Zealand
Phone: 011 64 6 357 4399
Fax: 011 64 6 3574389
Email: genevieve@hef.org.nz

They want to repeal that section so that parents cannot use force towards their children.

This means that not only will spanking be illegal but any sort of action which requires force forcing children to eat their veggies, forcibly taking a crayon away from a child whose intention is to draw on the walls, time out and lots more). They have a Bill before Parliament right now to repeal section 59. The members of Parliament will be discussing whether to
repeal section 59 later on this month.

When I think about getting married one day and having children, I will want to spank them as I seek to train them and mold them. There are two main reasons why I will want to spank my children one day. The first is that I am grateful that my parents spanked me and I can see the fruit of the discipline they instilled in my life. The second reason is that the Lord commends the use of the rod of correction in raising children (Proverbs 22v15, Proverbs
23v13-14). I want to obey God in the way I raise my children.

As we think about communicating to our parents how grateful we are for their courage in raising us the way they did and as we think about the methods we will use when we are parents one day, maybe there is something we can do to stop spanking from becoming illegal.

In New Zealand we have someone called the Commissioner for Children. Her name is Cindy Kiro and she wants to hear what children have to say about issues which effect them.

Repealing section 59 is certainly an issue which effects children!

Unfortunately, she is one of the main ones who think that parents should not be allowed to spank their children because she thinks that spanking is violent. We are children even if we are on the adult end of childhood and maybe we can let her know what we think on this matter: that we are
grateful for the way our parents disciplined us. Maybe we can help her to see that when our parents spanked us it was for our good and we love them for it and that it was not violent and they did not abuse us.

This is what I would suggest that you do:
1. Write down or talk to your parents about how grateful you are to them.
2. You might have recorded things like:
• I’m so thankful that you spanked me and didn’t let me get away with doing
anything wrong.
• I always knew you loved me. When I had done something wrong you spanked me quickly which cleared the air. I knew I was forgiven and that you still loved me.
• Some parents yell at their children. I’m so glad that you simply spanked me and hugged me. I would hate to have been yelled at.
• Some parents ground their children which makes the punishment drag on and on. I’m so glad that you simply spanked me. In minutes my offense was dealt with and forgiven and forgotten. Thank you for acting so promptly.
• The discipline you used has made me a disciplined person.

3. Visit this website to learn more about the people who want to make spanking illegal and how they are trying to do this: www.familyintegrity.org.nz. Parliament will be talking about whether to ban spanking towards the end of this month.

4. Communicate to the Children’s Commissioner that you are glad that your parents spanked you. Her email is: children@occ.org.nz. Send a copy of your letter to the Prime Minister: pm@ministers.govt.nz. If you want a response from the Prime Minister include your postal address in your email. Also send a copy of your letter to your local Member of Parliament. Go to this address for your MPs email address:

http://www.clerk.parliament.govt.nz/NR/rdonlyres/5858C8A5-ACDF-4B35-8D7A-
3ABB7B19ACDB/40463/ListOfMembers1820096.pdf. Talk to your parents first about writing to these people and make sure they are happy for you to do this.

5. Pray. Ask the Lord to help you to communicate gratefulness and honour to your parents and to help you to be a blessing to them. Ask Him to not allow section 59 to be repealed. Most of all ask Him for His will to be done and for us to accept joyfully His will and to remember that He is sovereign and works all things out for the good of those who love Him.

God bless you in your efforts.

For the Greater Glory of God through our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ,
Genevieve Smith
Issacharian Daughter
P.S. Those of you who are not in New Zealand are still welcome to write to our Children’s Commissioner and to our Prime Minister. And, of course, you are still encouraged to thank your parents for all the sacrifices they made on your behalf.

Understanding the Times In Order To Know What To Do ~ 1 Chronicles 12v32

Dear Girls,

Here are three introductions from Girls here in New Zealand who are reading the Issacharian Daughters Newsletter. If you would also like to introduce yourself feel free to email me.

Genevieve

"I have not ‘made the move home’ technically speaking, as I have never actually left home. God is gradually turning my heart more and more towards my family and home life, however. I suppose what prompted it has been the sense of belonging and appreciation I feel when I am at home. I know that I am loved, no matter what I do. That is so precious to me. I have the indescribable blessing of having both my parents work from home. I have two older sisters who are both career women; one lives at home, the other lives away from home.I also have two younger brothers and two younger sisters. While at home, I have many opportunities to grow in grace and patience towards my siblings, no matter what the circumstances. I also am continually learning to submit and honour the authorities God has wisely placed in my life, primarily my parents. I am learning to give continually of myself without expecting back or receiving recognition for daily and often mundane duties. I am learning to love and accept myself and others, warts and all. God is not finished with us until the day of our death. He is the Author and Perfector of our faith." From Kedesh in New Zealand

"Hello! My name is Joyanne and I live at home with my parents, sister, and two brothers, on our small block of land, in Southland, New Zealand. My sister and I enjoy taking care of our animals, as well as helping around the house, sewing, knitting, spinning, weaving, cooking, baking, etc.

For a while now, I have noticed the need for modest clothing at reasonable prices, for those who wish to dress modestly, but, for various reasons, do not sew their own clothes. Recently I decided I should do something about this! As a result, I am, Lord-willing, beginning a small home-business selling modest clothing. I plan to begin with little girls dresses (something I have made lots of previously) and homespun, hand-knitted children’s jerseys. I would like to expand from that as I am able, and of course, I am open to sewing garments according to requests!

From what Genevieve has told me, I gather I am not alone in wanting to begin a modest clothing type of business! Which is a good thing as there are so many possibilities and I know that I cannot do it all – I haven’t time! I think it would be wonderful if those of us who would like to do these things could compliment each other rather than competing, in opposition to each other! I’m sure there must room for several of us to do what we are able, and to encourage each other and share ideas! I would love to hear from any of you who may already be doing something of this nature, or thinking of it! Please e-mail me at bethederjoy-modestapparel@yahoo.com.au"

"Hi to all Issacharian daughters,

My name is Maria Minnee, and I am 15 years old. I am third to eldest in a line of nine children, and all of us children are not only spiritually adopted, but we are physically adopted. My mum is the most amazing godly person, and I love both her and dad dearly. Here is poem about ourselves, little hammers blunting out the dents of societies sins……

Maidens,damsels,lasses,

different clothes and different hearts,

each one for the Lord,

in each girl a fire starts,

to take a battle sword,

Some take wounds and some grow weak,

trying to make Him known,

but to those our girls do speak,

The Fathers seed is sown

Happy is their victory

and constant is their joy,

they see …

the promised fruitfullness in every girl or boy.

and when at last, we’re called to go,

no fear or fright will rule,

yes, because we maidens know,

His promise ever full!!!

by Maria Minnee (15/09/06 @ 9pm)

with love in Him, Maria xxxxx" From New Zealand

Monday, 9 October 2006

Dear Girls,

Courtship and Dating

After my previous Newsletter sharing the story, “The Perfect Match” I had a couple of questions presented to me on the subject of dating and courtship. The questions and my responses are below:

I was just wondering where you draw the "fine-line" between courting and "dating"? Is courtship just another name for dating? Are they the same thing? Help! ~ From a New Zealand reader

Good question!

The books I suggested in the previous Issacharian Daughters Newsletter really help to answer this question – especially I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris and Pastor Jim West’s books.

But in a nutshell, here is the deal:

People date for fun, as a way to socialize, for recreation. There is no particular objective in mind. People go out with one another or have boyfriends and girlfriends just to pass the time and for their own pleasure. Some people date because their friends are dating and they don’t want to be the only person without a boyfriend. People will date at any age. I even know of six year olds with boyfriends.

Courtship is different. People only court someone they think they could marry and as they court they are looking towards getting married. Young men will usually only court when they are financially ready to support a family. I have had the privilege of knowing many fine young men who have completed their studies or training, obtained steady employment, purchased a house and then entered into a courtship. Young women are often ready to court earlier than young men once they have learned how to manage the running of a home and various home-making skills. They can rely on their parents advice as to whether they are ready for marriage. I know a girl whose parents considered she was ready for marriage at 15. She was courted at 15 and married at 16. This is very unusual. I now another girl whose parents put off suitors until she was 18. And I know another girl whose parents didn’t consider she was ready for marriage until she was 20. My Dad’s rule of thumb before a courtship is that young folks should "show attention to all but intention towards none." By this he means we should be friendly with everybody but not exclusively friendly or pointedly interested in any one person. When a young man is ready for marriage, he will show intention towards one but only after his intentions have been declared (ie marriage).

Here are some other differences:

Dating usually separates the girl and guy from their families as they go off alone. It assumes that young people are independent and autonomous and can do whatever they like. There is little or no regard to the authority of the parents. Usually people date a whole lot of different people. They go with somebody and then break up with them.

When someone says they are courting it means they are operating on certain principles such as:

a. The daughter is under the authority of her father. So the suitor would approach the young lady’s father to get his permission to court her. The father would want to make sure that the young lady could marry the young man. So he will make sure they believe the same on important issues. Both the young lady and young man will seek to honour and respect and obey their parents in the courtship.

b. Marriage is the uniting of two families. Since in a courtship marriage is always the end goal they will realise that this courtship is about the uniting of two families, two heritages, two dynasties — so both families will want to spend time together and get to know one another. This time is a time for relationships to be built and strengthened (between the two families and by the courting couple with their own parents and siblings).

c. Keeping themselves pure for marriage. Both parties want to be pure emotionally and physically for their future husband or wife. The courtship does not guarantee they will end up married. They think they could marry but it is possible they might not though they would try as much as possible to determine before they start courting whether anything would keep them from being able to marry. In seeking to remain pure they will put up safeguards to help them remain pure for their future husband and wife. This can include things like avoiding being alone together, having chaperones and discussing with parents what physical boundaries they will have.

When we Christians think about how we are going to interact with each other, we can’t follow what the world does, we have to look to see how God wants us to act. God tells us in Scripture that we should not defraud one another (1 Thessalonians 4v1-8, esp. v 6). He tells us that we should treat one another as brothers and sisters in Christ in all purity (1 Timothy 5v1-2). He tells us that it is better for a man not to touch a woman (1 Corinthians 7v1). He tells us that we must listen to the instruction of our parents (Proverbs 1v8, 3v1, 4v10). It is life to us. It will keep us safe and guide and guard us. He tells us a girl is not independent or autonomous, but that she is given in marriage (Deuteronomy 7v1-4, esp v 3, Judges 12v8-10. There are lots of passages which have the phrase, "marry and given in marriage" as though the man marries and the woman is given in marriage by her father). Until that time she is under her father’s authority and when she is married she will be under her husband’s headship (Ephesians 6v1 and Titus 2v5).

So dating is a word which describes how the world does its relationships: anything goes. Courtship is a word which describes principles for relationships based as closely as possible on the Bible.

Confusion sometimes comes when people say they are courting when they are actually dating. For example, a young man might ask a young lady if she will go out with him. He might even be thinking that he would like to marry this young lady if it all works out. They then tell their parents. The parents are a little shocked and are not too keen. The young people simply tell them, "You just need to be happy for us." This is not a courtship. This couple ignored the authority of their parents. They didn’t even seek their parents counsel and advice. They are going to do what they want. They don’t care about anybody or anything else.

I’ve been slowly looking into all of this since I was twelve years old when my Dad gave me a couple of books to read. The books he gave me are the ones by Pastor Jim West mentioned in the Issacharian Daughters Newsletter #006. As I began to find other books on the subject (such as the others listed) I began giving them to Dad to read. We’ve had a lot of fun reading and discussing these books together and talking about how we hope the courtships in our family will work out.

I have talked to a lot of folks, made observations and read a lot of books and have come to the conclusion that one of the reasons we have so much divorce and one of the reasons we have such bad marriages everywhere is because of all the dating people did when they were younger. They used and defrauded one another and didn’t end up going into their marriages pure. Instead they went into their marriages with all sorts of baggage. This is really sad. But thankfully we have the advantage. We are living at a time when people have thought about how to do things Biblically in this area or relationships prior to marriage. Consequently, we don’t have to go into marriage after having gone through lots of dating relationships or with emotional hurt or scars or baggage.

Here is a scenario. Can you help me with it? A young couple are in a relationship under their parents’ authority. Marriage is the end view. Would the girl be wrong to refer to her young gentleman as her boyfriend? ~ From a New Zealander reader

I don’t think it is necessarily wrong to use the word boyfriend. There are other words you could use which are just as succinct. For example, you could use the word "beau." It is a quaint, old-fashioned and wholesomely romantic sort of word which communicates that the young man’s relationship with you is much more purposeful than what it would be if he was simply your boyfriend. Or you could say "suitor." Or you could say "we’re in a courtship relationship." Or if you are engaged, you could use the word "fiancée." These words would help to communicate that your relationship has much more depth and strength than what it would have if you were simply in a dating relationship. Sometimes I suppose it would be easier or more expedient to simply say, "my boyfriend." But at other times you might see that you have the opportunity to be a witness to courtship and to explain the nature of your relationship. You might be able to say something like, "our families are exploring together the possibility of the two of us being united in marriage." That is pretty blunt but it lets people know you are serious and they’ll watch with interest the unfolding of your relationship.

I personally like the idea of trying to find the best terminology possible to describe and give witness to the fact that I’m trying to be as Biblical as possible in my relationship and that I’m not doing things the way the world does them. So I would try to avoid using the word boyfriend. I have a friend who has communicated to me that when she get married she wants people to know that this is serious business. This isn’t a marriage in which she might get divorced after a few years. This is a union for life. And not only that, but in her wedding and marriage she represents the purity of the Bride of Christ – the purity and holiness of the Church. She has prepared for marriage and has been saving herself for her future husband. When her courtship culminates in a wedding it will be a time for tremendous celebration. Lots of dancing and feasting will be in order! I want my own courtship and marriage to be like this too. This prompts me to want to find the terminology which best reflects the seriousness, beauty and purity of what is going on. And since I have a real conviction about courtship, I want to witness about it as much as possible through my terminology and in what I say and how I behave. I want to influence others to think about courting instead of dating and to pursue living as Biblically as possible in this area of their lives.

For the Greater Glory of God through our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ,

Genevieve Smith

Issacharian Daughter

Monday, 2 October 2006

Dear Girls,

The Perfect Match

Here is a story entitled “The Perfect Match” which my Dad shared with me. We found this story in a bulletin from the Friends of Chalcedon ministry called Committees of Correspondence. The author is unknown.

In keeping with the theme of trying to reinstate the Biblical model [of courtship and marriage], there is a story that I have heard Dr. Rushdoony tell more than once that I would like to share with you.

Sometime in the early 1900s a friend of Dr. Rushdoony’s father who lived in the Van area of Armenia had arranged a marriage for his daughter to a young man from a family with similar background, abilities and personality. This young girl, it seemed, had read too many French romance novels, and her head was full of nonsense. She refused to consider this marriage because this young man didn’t look like the heroes of her novels, and she was embarrassed by him.

The plans for the marriage progressed, and as was the custom in Armenia, the groom’s bridal party came to the house of the bride where together both parties would parade to the church. The girl, although dressed for the wedding, refused to cooperate and climbed on top of the roof shouting that she would not come down and marry the young man. At this point the young man decided that this was too embarrassing for him and spoke his mind letting any and all who would hear that “if she didn’t want him, he didn’t want her!” His father turned abruptly to him and told him, “Be quiet! This is none of your business!”

Both families proceeded to overrule the two young people and dragged them off to the church. The priest was furious at the display of them both and ordered the parents to lay them out on their backs and sit on them if need be while he performed the ceremony. At the completion he ordered them, “Get up and get out of here! I am ashamed of you both!”

The wedding guests and families proceeded with the reception which was a big to do. The only people having a terrible time were the bride and groom who were sitting there with grim faces disdainful over the proceedings. Finally, they decided that misery loves company and began to talk with each other. Much to their surprise, they had much in common and agreed to get up and join the party.

The story ends with these two having quite a fruitful and successful marriage and both lived to their old age. Every anniversary, with great laughter, they would recount the story of how they came to be married. As time went on, the grandchildren would beg not to have the story repeated for the umpteenth time, yet according to Dr. Rushdoony, they all enjoyed hearing the details of how they came to be a family.

This is such a wild story with some bizarre elements (the bride climbing onto the roof and the couple having to be sat on while they said, “I do”), but it does have a happy ending! Note the danger of romance novels and also (though I’m not an advocate of marriages arranged contrary to the desires of those to be married) the hullabaloo caused by not trusting one’s parents.

Learning to trust our parents is very important for many reasons. One good reason is that trusting our parents is essential for any future courtship we might enter into. One way we can learn to trust our parents in this area of courtship is to read some courtship books with our parents and discuss them together. Here are some recommendations:

· I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris.

· Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris

· Emotional Purity by Heather Paulsen

· Knights and Fair Maidens by Jeff and Danielle Myers

· His Perfect Faithfulness by Eric and Leslie Ludy

· Christian Courtship Vs the Dating Game by Pastor Jim West

· The Art of Choosing Your Love by Pastor Jim West

As we read these books, we might have all sorts of questions that we will want to discuss together. We might want to share with our parents the things we are looking for in future husbands and our parents might want to share with us what they are looking for in future husbands for us. We might want to talk about how a courtship might work for our own family. For example, if a young man approaches us, will we refer them to our fathers first? And what about if a young man approaches our father first? Will our fathers evaluate the young man before telling us about it? What about physical touch? What boundaries will we establish for our courtships, and what about our engagements? Will we save our first kisses for marriage? The more we discuss these sorts of things with our parents, the more we will grow to trust them in these areas.

For the Greater Glory of God through our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ,

Genevieve Smith

Issacharian Daughter

Notes:

I have sent this email to girls who have embraced a vision of victorious daughterhood as well as those who may be thinking about doing so (and even to some girls who may just like some encouragement regarding different areas of home life). Some of the girls are in the USA. Most are in New Zealand. You are welcome to forward this email on to others so long as you do so in its entirety. If you do not want to receive these emails please just send a return email to me stating that fact. If you know of other girls who would be encouraged by receiving these emails, feel free to forward the email to them or send me their email address.

Monday, 2 October 2006

Dear Girls,

The Woman who laughs

Here is a charming excerpt from an old magazine called The Family Friend published in 1888:

For a good, everyday household angel, give us the woman who laughs. Her biscuits may not be always just right, and she may occasionally burn her bread and forget to replace dislocated buttons, but for solid comfort all day and every day she is a very paragon. Home is not a battlefield, nor life one long unending row. The trick of always seeing the bright side, or, if the matter has no bright side, of shining up the dark one, is a very important faculty; one of the things no woman should be without. We are not all born with the sunshine in our hearts, as the Irish prettily phrase it, but we can cultivate a cheerful sense of humour if we only try.

For the Greater Glory of God through our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ,

Genevieve Smith

Issacharian Daughter

Monday, 25 September 2006

Dear Girls,

Dying to self

Remember the poem Dying to Self and the questions I emailed to you recently? Here is the poem again and an expansion on the questions:

When you are forgotten or neglected or purposely set at naught, and you sting and hurt with the insult or the oversight, but your heart is happy being counted worthy to suffer for Christ-that is Dying to Self.

When your good is evil spoken of, when your wishes are crossed, your advice is disregarded, your opinions ridiculed and you refuse to let anger rise in your heart, or even defend yourself, but take it all in patient loving silence-that is Dying to Self.

When you lovingly and patiently bear any disorder, any irregularity, or any annoyance, when you can stand face to face with waste, folly, extravagance, spiritual insensibility, and endure it as Jesus endured it-that is Dying to Self.

When you are content with any food, any offering, any raiment, any climate, any society, any attitude, any interruption by the will of God-that is Dying to Self.

When you never care to refer to yourself in conversation, or to record your own good works, or itch after commendation, when you can truly love to be unknown-that is Dying to Self.

When you see your brother prosper and have his needs met and can honestly rejoice with him in spirit and feel no envy nor question God, while your own needs are far greater and in desperate circumstances-that is Dying to Self.

When you can receive correction and reproof from one of less stature than yourself, can submit inwardly as well as outwardly, finding no rebellion or resentment rising up within your heart-that is Dying to Self.

~Author Unknown

Questions

What does it mean to be crucified with Christ or to die to self?

It means that you have to be completely selfless.

Christ’s grace is sufficient.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Cor 12v9

You don’t live for yourself anymore. You live for God.

What are some of the character traits you will have if you have truly died to yourself?

Kind, Patient, Courtious, Loving, Humble, Listen (rather than speak)

How can you learn to die to yourself with your Dad?

If he is busy?

If he doesn’t show appreciation?

If he wants you to do something you normally don’t have to do?

How can you learn to die to yourself with your Mum?

If she cooks a horrible meal?

If she gives you ugly clothes to wear?

How can you learn to die to yourself with your brothers?

If they are annoying?

If they don’t respect your privacy?

If they make a mess all the time?

How can you learn to die to yourself with your sisters?

If they take things which are yours?

If they tell other people your secrets?

If they tell other people things which are not true about you?

How can you learn to die to yourself with your friends?

If they ignore you?

If they are spiteful and play with others instead of you?

If they interrupt you or don’t listen or just want to talk themselves?

How can you learn to die to yourself when your family has visitors?

And there aren’t enough of those yummy cakes to go around?

And you are tired, but your Mum needs help?

But you just want to be by yourself?

How can you learn to die to yourself when someone is being mean to you?

And others join in?

And you’ve never done anything mean to them?

Telling you things about yourself which are true/not true?

How can you learn to die to yourself when you are tired but can’t rest?

Because someone is in danger?

Because your parents need some help?

Because your friend (rightly or wrongly) needs you?

For the Greater Glory of God through our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ,

Genevieve Smith

Issacharian Daughter