pdf of Issacharian Daughters – ID049 – click on link below for correct layout and photos
Monday, 30 July 2007
Dear Girls,
It is so worth it!
When girls know that I am at home helping my dad in his ministry and assisting my mum in the home and building my relationships with my siblings and preparing for marriage and learning home-making skills and learning about feminine, beautiful and Biblical womanhood and developing relationships with younger girls, they’ll sometimes ask me,??Is it worth it? ????Are you content? ????Are you really happy? ????Don’t you wish you were somewhere else doing something else? Like doing your own thing? ??
Oftentimes these girls ask these questions because they are really and truly interested in this paradigm. Either they or their parents have been moving in this direction, and they are having to face a lot of decisions such as: how to equip themselves for the future; how to get the best education without defilement; how to live under the authority of their fathers and benefit from his protection; how to prepare for marriage and maintain that hope that, if it is the Lord’s will, He will bring about a marriage in His good timing, and that in the meantime He is preparing them for a future husband and preparing a future husband for them; how to give up an independent income and learn to rely on parents or how to start up a home business; how to deal with an already accumulated student debt; how to help a father; how to die to self; how to be joyful and contented; how to respond to the criticisms or kindly-meant advice from others to leave home, study or do their own thing; how to cast a vision for others for what they are doing and many, many, many other things!
I can’t tell you how many times I have praised God for bringing me home and teaching me about my role as a daughter and the wisdom of preparing for the future and helping to strengthen my family. I can tell you quite honestly that I have never questioned whether it was worth it! Day after day, event after event and Scripture after Scripture confirms to me over and over that visionary daughterhood is SO worth it, that it is so right and good!
Let me share with you some of the experiences which have happened to me and other girls I know which in some way, great or small, confirm that this is the ideal path:
When older men ask what you are doing and you tell them you are engaged in administrative duties for your father to free him up to do more important things and they bless you for honouring your father so and look at your father from that point on differently, giving him more respect and kudos.
When your sibling comes to you with a trouble they want you to fix or when your brother proudly tells you about an achievement or when your siblings write you little love notes because of the work you have put into building the relationships.
When other girls/women come to you thanking you for the standard you set in femininity, grace and womanliness and how it encourages them and challenges them to pursue these things themselves.
When young men enjoy your company (on a platonic level) because they know you are safe (you aren’t going to chase them, but will treat them as brothers in all purity) and because you dress modestly (they don’t have to guard their eyes around you).
When lots of things are going wrong at home, but when just you decide to be cheerful and happy and it changes the whole atmosphere in your home and causes everyone to stop being grumpy and instead to laugh and be joyful.
When a missions minded individual asks you if you are interested in going on the mission field and you answer that your energies are devoted to helping your father. If he decided to go onto the mission field or your future husband (Lord willing) were to decide to go on the mission field, you’d be thrilled about helping them in that environment. But you yourself aren’t going to go because your calling is as a helper and a help meet to these men (first one and then the other). And then the individual pats you on the hand and says,??If only more girls were to think like this. ??
When your family finishes a big project or accomplishes something great together because they were working together and it was not something that could have been accomplished by any one member individually.
When you overhear your mum telling someone what a great help you are around the house.
When an older women tells you what a blessing you will be to a future husband one day.
When a grandparent tells you how proud he is to have you as his granddaughter.
? When a father says you bless him with your work and make his burden easier to carry because of your help to him and your mother.
What about that day when a suitor comes and asks your Dad if he can court you? On that day, what are you likely to feel about the worth of what you have been doing?
Shall I tell you what I felt?
That day for me came a little over a week ago. A Godly man by the name of Pete de Deugd asked my father for permission to court me and received it! Lord willing our courtship will culminate in marriage.
As I contemplated the now very real prospect of marriage in the future, I can tell you what I wasn’t thinking about!
I wasn’t thinking about how much I wished I pursued this or that selfish endeavour or done my own thing or lived my own life.
I wasn’t thinking about how much I wished I’d had a million different boyfriends before being stuck to one man for life.
I wasn’t wishing I’d had a lot of fun blowing a lot of money.
? I wasn’t wishing that I’d spent more time free of authority or parental restraints.
Rather I was in awe that the Lord had protected me from these things to the extent that He had. And I was thinking about how thankful I was to Him for enabling me to prepare for marriage in these ways:
Submitting to my father’s authority.
Learning to appreciate my father’s protection.
Learning to respect my father and brothers.
Learning to bring comfort to my fathers and brothers and be a blessing to them.
Learning home-making skills from my mother.
Discipling and building relationships with my siblings
Saving money.
Learning to be a good steward, to stick to (or be under) a budget, to meal plan, to cook and to prepare healthy, delicious meals.
Coming to appreciate femininity and womanliness (and seeking to develop these in myself).
Learning to be content at home.
Learning to die to myself.
Developing character qualities such as selflessness, patience, kindness, etc.
Learning to be a self-motivator and to be self-disciplined.
Developing a cheerful spirit and an attitude of joy.
Learning to help my father.
Learning to save my heart and emotions for my future husband.
Learning home-making skills such as sewing and cleaning and changing blown fuses.
Learning how to be a follower, a supporter, an encourager, a responder.
Learning business skills such as accounting and writing a letter.
Learning from my mother how to do my future husband (Lord willing that I marry) good all the days of my life including when I didn’t know who he might be. Proverbs 31v12
Reading good books and studying subjects such as Titus 2, worldviews, the dominion mandate, Biblical education philosophy, photography, gardening.
My regrets are not that I should have been doing something else, but that I wasn’t doing these things enough, that I haven’t learned these lessons more completely, that I haven’t taken more advantage of the fact that I was home to learn more, to sit at my father’s feet more, to develop even better relationships in my family and to develop greater abilities and capabilities in the area of home management and home skills or developed more practical skills to be able to be of greater help to a husband in practical matters.
To meet a man in the flesh and to realise that I am so much better prepared for marriage and to be a helper to him because the Lord many years ago changed my heart and brought me home is amazing. I’m left praising the Lord for His work in my life (as I’m sure you will too when a suitor approaches your dad) and thinking enthusiastically,??I’m so glad I’ve followed this path. It is SO worth it! ??
For the Greater Glory of God through our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ,
Genevieve Smith
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