pdf of Issacharian Daughters – ID053 – click on link below for correct layout and photos
id053-cant-my-husband-be-my-helper.pdf
Dear Girls,
I’ve had some wonderful communications from you this week:
Letters regarding Kedesh’s testimony in ID051?? Christian Romance Novels
Hi. I was greatly encouraged by Kedesh’s Testimony about the Christian romance novels. I have recently been convicted about them but like Kedesh, struggled to submit them to the Lord. I find Issacharian Daughters a good encouragement to me also. Thank you again. Courtney Silvester.
Dear Genevieve,A few weeks ago I had been discerning whether or not to stop reading romantic novels. This issue came at just the right time to remind me that I must do what I ought do; that is, to not read those anymore. It is very hard, but with prayer, I hope to get better at resisting them. I think that it’s a wonderful blessing that this is the second time that one of your newsletters dealt upon something I have been struggling with. It is so very nice to know that I am not the only one, and read about the experiences of others. Thanks so much and God bless you,Lisa Marie
Book recommendations from other Issacharian Daughters
It is always good to exercise caution with book and media recommendations. So, as with the books I recommended, I would advise you to look these up on the internet to read descriptions of them or talk with your parents about them before deciding to track them down and read them yourselves. With that said, here they are!
From Angela Robb
4, 5, 6 The Pursuit of Holiness by Jerry Bridges
4, 5, 6 The Practice of Godliness by Jerry bridges
10 Square foot Gardening by Mel Bartholomew
20 The Princess and the Goblin by George Macdonald
20 The Princess and Curdie by George Macdonald
20 Sir Gibbie by George Macdonald
20, 24 Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
20 Good Wives by Louisa May Alcott
20 Little Men by Louisa May Alcott
20, 26, 27 Jo’s Boys by Louisa May Alcott
20 All the Narnia Series by C.S. Lewis
From Rebecca Whitaker
4 The Way of the Master by Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort. I recently did this course and read the book and it is the most incredible and amazing evangelism book I’ve ever read! It has given me the tools to share my faith effectively.
4, 25 Lady in Waiting by Jackie Kendall and Debby Jones. This is a book,journal and study guide all in one. It is a study of Ruth and the nine characteristics we should develop as women – no matter what stage we are in life. The thing I love about this book is that it is not just for ‘singles.’ A woman of any age can read it. It is a fantastic resource and working through it has really helped me develop a much deeper quiet time with God.
That is a couple from me… perhaps you could also mention many of these Christian books can be found second hand or at a cheaper price on www.trademe.co.nz
From Lydia Wilwerding
2 (American History) The Light and the Glory by Peter Marshall and David Manuel
2, 25, 26 Marriage to a Difficult Man by Elisabeth D. Dodds
3 To Train Up a Child by Michael and Debi Pearl
4, 24, 25, 26 Female Piety by John Angell James
5, 6 Heaven Opened correspondence of Mary Winslow
10, 25, 26 True Womanhood from The Parables
10 Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon
10 Whole Foods for the Whole Family by L.L.L.
10 Tightwad Gazette I, II, and III by Amy Dacyczyn (frugal living)
10, 18 Joy of Gardening by Dick Raymond
20 Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
Book Categories
You will notice that the books above have numbers in front of them. These are the category numbers so you can get a general idea of the sort of book that is being recommended. Feel free to send in your book recommendations. I may be able to use them and email out more lists in the future.
1 Theology, 2 History, 3 Child Training, 4 Christian living, 5 Relationship with God, 6 Christian Devotion, 7 Worldviews, 8 Creation, 9 Church History, 10 Homemaking, 11 Home education, 12 Marriage, 13 Reconstruction, 14 Theonomy, 15 Dominion, 16 Social commentary, 17 Public speaking/conversation, 18 Skill Building, 19 Logic, 20 Wholesome fiction, 21 Poetry, 22 Bible Commentary/Helps/Aids/Hermeneutics, 23 Law, 24 Daughterhood, 25 Women’s Role/Womanhood, 26 Motherhood/Wifehood, 27 Man’s Role/Manhood, 28 Children’s Books, 29 Biography, 30 Doctrine, 31 Courtship.
Thanks so much girls for your emails! The next newsletter is attached as a pdf and the text from the newsletter follows this note.
Regards,GenevieveMonday, 27 August 2007
Dear Girls,
Can’t my husband be my helper?
Hello Genevieve
I was just reading your latest newsletter [ID047 ??I Am an Eve] and it made me wonder, is that all we as females are supposed to be, helpers to our husbands and our fathers?? I want to be a missionary and my future husband will have to fit in with my plans as I want to start a school in Africa and teach the kids there. Am I supposed to give up my dream to follow my husband’s dream, or is he allowed to be my helper and help me fulfil what I believe God has called me to be??
Thank you for the newsletters,
Your Sister in Christ
??Sarah ??
Dear Sarah,
Thanks for your email and your open and honest questions. They are good questions, too and touch on concepts which are vitally important to understand.
May I ask you a question? If you knew that God wanted you to do something however small, would you be willing to do it?
I sense that you would. I sense that you are the sort of girl who wants to glorify God and help Him extend His kingdom! This is a wonderful, wonderful thing.
May I share a little secret with you? I once had the dream of going to Africa and starting up an orphanage.
Somewhere along the line I gave this dream up to God. I knew I had done so when an elder lady asked me onetime if I was thinking of going on the mission field. I answered that I saw my calling as helping my dad to be successful and one day it would be to help my husband be successful. If my dad wanted to go onto the mission field or my husband one day in the future, then I’d gladly follow them and help them in that endeavour, but I said that I wasn’t thinking myself of going onto the mission field.
I was really surprised when this 69 year old women reached over, squeezed my hand and said, “If only more girls thought like you.” That is not the usual response to what I believe. And that is because our world is always telling us that we ought to do what we want to do. That we should pursue our own thing and seek to satisfy and fulfil ourselves. Because of this, people usually don’t understand when I or others try to cast a vision for what God would have us do?? for what His calling is on our lives.
In between when I first felt the desire to set up an orphanage in Africa and when I traded that desire for God’s far better plan, I had a lot to learn. God taught me about why He created men and women and what our respective roles are. To put it simply, God created Adam and gave him a job (to take dominion). But He saw that this arrangement was not good. So He created Eve and gave her to Adam as a helper and as a companion. This arrangement was pronounced by God as being good! Eve was to be a helper to Adam and a companion for the purpose of being fruitful and multiplying and taking dominion. All this comes out in the Bible in Genesis chapters 1 and 2. As an aside, the great commission in Matthew chapter 28 is simply a re-stating of the dominion mandate. It is given to the Adams of this world, and we Eves are to help our Adams in this task.
Our role as women, Sarah, is to be helpers to the men God has given us to: first our fathers and later our husbands. We are to help them with their vision. It is to turn God’s order and plan upside down to insist that they help us with our vision. An important verse for understanding this is 1 Corinthians 11v8-9 where it says, “For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.” God didn’t create men to help us. He created us to help them. God has a very special plan in all this: that a husband and wife would represent Christ and His bride the church. Christ isn’t the church’s helper, but rather the church is Christ’s helper. The church takes on Christ’s vision (as it is outlined in the Word). Christ doesn’t take on the church’s vision. There is more to God’s plan too! It includes children. And it brings glory to God.
God has given men and women separate and distinct roles. These roles don’t make men superior to women. Men and women are equal in dignity and purpose before God. He has simply called them to serve Him in different capacities and has equipped them each differently for these capacities. For men that includes being leaders, initiators, providers, protectors and heads, and for us women it includes being followers, responders, supporters, encouragers, nurturers and being submissive. I have come to realise, for example, what a blessing it is to live under my father’s authority and to have the benefit of his protection. The responsibilities he takes upon himself as my head free me up to love and nurture and not to worry or fear. God sure knows best!
Coming back to my initial question to you: If you knew that God wanted you to do something however small, would you be willing to do it?
You said, “Is that all we as females are supposed to be, helpers to our husbands and fathers?” That is indeed our calling, but that isn’t all. It is through helping our fathers and husbands that we take part in a much bigger work and that is the work of helping Christ. Whatever the Lord has for us isn’t small. If it is what He has specifically for us, it is big. And when it is the Lord’s work it automatically means that we are plugged into something big?? God’s eternal and universal plan?? we just have to be faithful in our little part. So helping fathers/husbands isn’t small, it is our part in God’s eternal and universal plan.
Don’t despise the calling of helping a father or husband. Because it is what God has for us, it makes wiping a baby’s nose more glamorous than walking the red carpet, and it makes serving a hot meal to a hungry family of far greater kingdom significance than starting 50 schools or 50 orphanages in Africa. I’m so glad the Lord taught me this, and I know you will be too.
As an aside, Sarah, may I add that sometimes God places desires in our hearts in order to fulfil them. It might be part of His plan for you to marry a man with the desire to set up schools in Africa. But may I caution you that your role in that case would still be to help your husband to be successful in his calling, not to set up the schools yourself. For more information on this concept, read the Issacharian Daughters newsletter #030, “A Word to Women.” You can find it here: https://hef.org.nz. On the other hand it may be His desire for you to marry a man with a much different vision. If that is the case, Sarah, be an encouragement and a motivator to this man in what the Lord is calling him. Lend him your energy and passion. Let the Lord lead you and call you through your husband and in the meantime, through your father.
God bless you, Sarah, as you seek to serve and glorify our good God and wonderful Heavenly Father. May He make your path clear to you.
With Christian love and affection,
Genevieve
Notes:
I have sent this email to girls who have embraced a vision of victorious daughterhood as well as those who may be thinking about doing so (and even to some girls who may just like some encouragement regarding different areas of home life). Some of the girls are in the USA, UK, Australia and other parts of the world. Most are in New Zealand. You are welcome to forward this email on to others so long as you do so in its entirety. If you do not want to receive these emails please just send a return email to me stating that fact. If you know of other girls who would be encouraged by receiving these emails, feel free to forward the email to them or send me their email address.
I don’t necessarily agree. I think that it is true that we are to help our husbands, but God is calling me to be a missionary so my husband needs to be my helper and companion too. How dare you say that wiping a child’s nose is “far greater” than helping establish 50 orphanages in Africa. That is ridiculous! I think it is wonderful to be a mother, but to go as far to say that it is greater is not right. I desire to be a mother, wife, and a missionary. When God calls one to do something, He will provide people to help you whether a spouse and/or others. I think girls give up their dreams too easily. If God is calling you to be a missionary, Sarah, He will help you and provide the right people to assist you. You do not have to be a missionary alone; it is better to be with others. Sarah, may God bless you and your future ambitions.