THE WRONGS OF THE UNITED NATIONS’ RIGHTS OF THE CHILD

THE WRONGS OF THE UNITED NATIONS’ RIGHTS OF THE CHILD

By Charles H. Francis, Esq.

Mrs Babette Francis, president of Endeavour Forum, Australia, has given her kind consent for the NCHRHEF and Family Integrity to publish her late husband’s, Charles H. Francis, essay “The Wrongs of The United Nations’ Rights of The Child” on their websites.

Ruby Harrold-Claesson and Barbara Smith

August 18, 2010.

After World War II, when the United Nations first became established, most people looked to it with hope for the future. Primarily it was envisaged as a world authority, which would serve to prevent wars and act as mediator and arbitrator when disputes developed between member nations. Secondly, as the gross violations of human rights by the Nazi regime became more fully known, the United Nations was seen also as a world body to establish and protect human rights throughout the world.

This essay discusses human rights in the context of the present “rights of the child” mentality prevailing at the United Nations. Legitimate concern for the world’s children has, unfortunately, given way to a dangerous and false vision of an autonomous child with the same objectionable humanist “rights” as any adult. This vision, if given legal effect or legitimacy of any kind, poses a real threat to the authority of parents and to the integrity of the family.

IN THE BEGINNING: CHRISTIAN INFLUENCE AT THE UNITED NATIONS AND THE BEST INTERESTS OF CHILDREN

Most of the countries that played a major part in the early development of the United Nations and in the drafting of its first declarations had a strong underlying Christian and thus pro-family ethos.[1]

The Universal Declaration of Human Rights, adopted by the General Assembly fifty years ago, is evidence of this, asserting, as it does, “Motherhood and childhood are entitled to special care and assistance,” in Article 25(2), and declaring, “Parents have a prior right to choose the kind of education that shall be given to their children,” in Article 26(3). The United Nations made similar declarations after this that tended to focus on improving children’s health, nutrition, safety, and education.[2]

There appeared to be a general agreement that such interests were ordinarily best served by keeping children within integrated families and under the care, guidance and control of their parents.

THE TURN TO HUMANISM AND TO DELIBERATE AMBIGUITY

In 1989, the United Nations General Assembly introduced a new Convention on the Rights of the Child. It was promptly signed by 130 nations with, it would seem, singularly little debate or scrutiny and even less intelligent discussion on the legal effect of its provisions.

This Convention was full of platitudinous phrases and contained much ambiguous language. However, many prominent lawyers became aware of the problems and traps within it and lectured and wrote on its proper interpretation, warning their countries not to sign or ratify it. Most of the representatives of the various nations, which rushed like so many lemmings to sign the Convention, probably had no real understanding of its meaning. It was feted as a Convention in the best interests of children, and those nations that signed it were said to demonstrate a commitment to the prevention of child abuse. Those who expressed concern about possible interpretations of the Convention were falsely assured that parental rights were fully preserved by Article Five.[3]

A number of the supporters of this 1989 Children’s Rights Convention also maintained, quite falsely, that its main object was the protection of children, and that it did no more than provide for those rights that were already law in more advanced democracies such as the United States of America. In reality, had legislation setting out similar provisions to those of the Convention been introduced into the House of Representatives in the United States (or in Australia), it would probably never have become law.[4]

By 1989, however, many supporters of humanist philosophies had already realized it was far easier to implement their ideas by incorporating them in United Nations’ Conventions, which their countries might thereafter ratify, rather than by attempting the more difficult (if not impossible) task of trying to pass such provisions through their countries’ legislatures, where they were likely to receive much closer scrutiny, and where the legal interpretation and actual effect of the provisions might be the subject of proper analysis and debate.[5]

In essence, the 1989 Children’s Rights Convention was humanist (not Christian). Humanism denies and rejects God (as well as prayer, any divine purpose and theism generally) and all religions that place God above human desires. Despite its followers’ claims of neutrality, humanism is a secular religion, and is more dogmatic than any church teaching. Humanism recognizes and accepts abortion, euthanasia, suicide and countless other immoral acts, and works for the establishment of a completely secular society, which is its goal. It also realizes that the traditional family, marked by strong parental authority, is an obstacle to this goal and, therefore, seeks to dismantle it.

In consequence, the 1989 Convention gave to children a sphere of autonomy and freedom from control (in particular a freedom from parental control) and thereby introduced a radically new concept of children having rights entirely separate from their parents, with the government accepting the responsibility for protecting the child from the power of parents.

Professor Bruce Hafen of Brigham Young University has wisely pointed out that parents who subscribe to “children’s rights” thinking and “leave their children alone” so they develop their personalities are irresponsibly abrogating their parental duties, leaving their children a ready prey to a wide range of immoral and evil influences.[6]

Indeed, in England some of the strongest support for “children’s rights” has come from well identified homosexual and pedophile organizations, which long ago realized that the easiest way to obtain access to children was to demand their freedom from any form of restraint, thereby exposing them to the predatory behavior of those who would harm them.[7]

While some Articles of the Convention are praiseworthy (for example its prohibitions on slavery and child prostitution), there are five Articles in particular (12, 13, 14, 15 and 16, discussed below) that would create grave difficulties for parents seeking to exercise authority over children. These Articles appear to be the spearhead of a very serious invasion of parental rights.

ARTICLES 12 TO 16

Article 12 is the first to provide a charter of autonomous children’s rights. Its implications therefore require close attention. It assures to a child the right to express views freely in all matters affecting the child, the view of the child being given due weight in accordance with the age and maturity of the child.

But who is to determine what weight is to be attached to those views? Obviously not the parents alone. Article 12 enables children to ventilate their disagreements with parental rulings in primarily public and legal forums.[8] Carried to its logical conclusion, the child will be able to demand state intervention to challenge any parental conduct the child doesn’t like (or conduct the child claims is not in his “best interest”). This is an absurd threat to parental authority.

Article 13 assures to the child the right of freedom of expression, which includes “freedom to seek, receive and impart information and ideas of all kinds.” This Article will prevent parents from protecting their children from objectionable or immoral materials, often disseminated in schools. A recent case in Australia provides a most disturbing example: When a family tried to persuade their daughter’s school that some of its curriculum was inappropriate for young secondary students, the Department of Secondary Education invoked the provisions of the Convention as authority for overriding parental rights and wishes.[9]

We would do well, at this juncture, to consider some material that the United Nations has already approved for children, since we can assume that the Convention on the Rights of the Child would support the unrestricted dissemination of such material to them.

The United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF) has already produced two sex education films, “The Blue Pigeon” and “Music for Two.” “The Blue Pigeon” is a cartoon targeted at 10- to 12- year-old children, and graphically depicts sexual intercourse between two children attending a children’s picnic. “Music for Two” depicts the fantasies of a young girl who foresees herself as tired, overworked and overburdened when married, and her husband as indifferent and uninterested. By contrast, sexual intercourse with a boy neighbor is depicted as a happy, commitment-free sexual relationship.[10]

It takes no genius to discern this message of approval for sexual activity outside of marriage and even for children at a very young age. Parents must understand that this is the type of “information” the United Nations wishes to “impart” to their children.

Article 14 declares “the right of the child to freedom of thought, conscience and religion.” The Convention affords parents and guardians only the limited right to “direct” children in the exercise of this right (although there is no real protection for this right; the state merely gives it “respect,” which, without means of enforcement, is somewhat meaningless). “Direction” of course implies that a parent will not be able to require a young child to go to church or Sunday school if the child does not wish to do so.[11]

American Christian leader Dr. James Dobson has suggested that the real freedom given by Article 14 is freedom from parental control in the area of religion. Parents are relegated to providing a state-monitored influence over the religious practices of their own children.[12]

Article 15 “recognizes” the right of the child to freedom of association and the right to freedom of peaceful assembly. Such rights make it difficult, if not impossible, for parents to control the company their children keep, even though that company may be truly harmful. The Convention does not balance these “children’s rights” against those of parents (which should always serve the best interests of children), however valid and compelling. In some Australian towns where young teenage vandalism and crime is rife, teenage curfews have been introduced. Usually they have proved successful, but civil libertarians have already complained that curfews are a breach of Article 15 of the Convention. In this regard, the Convention appears to be directly opposed to the view of the United States Supreme Court, which has held such curfews lawful.[13]

Article 16 protects the child’s right not to be “subjected to arbitrary or unlawful interference with his or her privacy.” The inclusion of the word arbitrary may permit children to exclude parents from anything they consider private, including medical treatments, and presumably activity in the child’s bedroom or any other part of the home set aside for the child’s use. This Article greatly strengthens the position of Planned Parenthood, which routinely puts young girls on birth control pills without notice to (much less consent from) their parents. The United States Supreme Court has, of course, already upheld privacy rights for children in the context of abortion and contraception. Mature minors (maturity being determined by a judge) can have abortions without any parental involvement, and immature minors may have abortions if the judge thinks it is in their best interests.

THE NEED TO COMBAT THE UNITED NATIONS’ “RIGHTS OF THE CHILD”

The picture should be clear by now: The Convention is a very serious invasion of parental rights. A careful analysis of its terms proves that it is anti-parent. It takes many important decisions regarding the well-being of children (on education, philosophy, morality and religion) away from parents and gives them to the State, and ultimately, to the United Nations itself.

Most great civilizations have been destroyed not from without but from within. In almost every such instance, the breakdown of the family was key to the collapse. Responsible parents realize that children (especially adolescent children) need protection from their own actions, which spring from a lack of mature judgment. The Convention’s invasion of parental control can only make this task more difficult, if not impossible.

The new humanist philosophy, increasingly embraced by so many Western democracies today, and brought to the United Nations by their delegates, has enormous potential for harm, especially when applied to our children. The U.N. Convention on the Rights of the Child reflects this philosophy and is, in many ways, diametrically opposed to what the United Nations had to offer the world in its 1948 Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

We desperately need to re-appraise the United Nations’ present direction. We must realize that those humanist philosophies, which masquerade as a concern for human rights, will end up trampling them — just as the United Nations’ Convention on the Rights of the Child pretends to protect children, but damages the parental authority that is their best protection. The humanist element of such documents has the potential to destroy all that is best in Christian civilization, replacing it with a profoundly chaotic, harmful and ultimately evil empire.

How to control adults by means of ‘children’s rights
By Lynette Burrows

The Fight for the Family
By Lynette Burrows

The Folly of Sweden’s State Controlled Families
The lawyer, Mrs Siv Westerberg’s lecture to The Family Education Trust.

Smacking: Those Swedes must be crazy!
By Jean-Francis Held

The Empresses’ New Clothes or Smacking: those Kiwis must be crazy
By Ruby Harrold-Claesson


[1] – The United States and Great Britain were foremost among them. To some extent, the drafters of the postwar declarations were using 20th-century national constitutions as their models, adding the protection of the family and the child to those political and civil democratic rights that they wished to identify and preserve.

[2] – Such declarations included the Declaration of the Rights of the Child in 1959, a valuable document that included Principle 6, providing that “the child shall wherever possible grow up in the care and under the responsibility of his parents.” The 1959 Declaration was in many ways not unlike the 1924 League of Nations Declaration on the Rights of the Child, which had stated that “mankind owes to the child the best it has to give.” The philosophy of the 1959 Declaration was again essentially Christian, and anticipated that, at a later date, there would be further and more detailed provisions.

[3] – Article 5 reads as follows: States Parties shall respect the responsibilities, rights, and duties of parents or, where applicable, the members of the extended family or community as provided for by local custom, legal guardians or other persons legally responsible for the child, to provide, in a manner consistent with the evolving capacities of the child, appropriate direction and guidance in the exercise by the child of the rights recognized in the present Convention. But who is to decide what constitutes “a manner consistent with the evolving capacities of the child”? When this Article is read in conjunction with the child’s rights contained in Articles 12 to 16, and with the fact that parents have no right of control, it is apparent that this determination is not necessarily to be left to the parents alone.

[4] – The obvious legal implications of Articles 12 to 16, once properly understood and publicized (as they were in the U.S. Senate), are likely to lead to their rejection. (In Australia, the adoption of these Articles as Federal law would necessitate an amendment to the Constitution by referendum.)

[5] – In England, however, some unfortunate features similar to those of the Convention found their way into the Child Act of 1989.

[6] – Professor Bruce C. Hafen, and Jonathan O. Hafen (1996) Harvard International Law Journal 37(2), pp. 449-491.

[7] –  See “The Fight for the Family” 1998, Lynette Burrows — Family Education Trust, Oxford, England, ISBN 0 906229 14 6.

[8] –  Article 12(2) reads: [T]he child shall in particular be provided the opportunity to be heard in any judicial and administrative proceedings affecting the child, either directly, or through a representative or an appropriate body, in a manner consistent with the procedural rules of national law.

[9] – Newsweekly (Australia) January 24, 1998, at 17. The U.N. has a track record in this regard: Its Committee on the Rights of the Child has already criticized England for not having a way for children to dissent from parental views. The Committee’s criticism was made in relation to parents withdrawing their children from school sex education programs that the parents deemed unsuitable. U.N. Committee on the Rights of the Child, Report on the United Kingdom, February 15, 1995.

[10] – “Behind the Mask of UNICEF,” Population Research Institute Review (1992), Baltimore, MD.

[11] – Professor Bruce Hafen, when speaking in Ireland last year, confirmed this interpretation of Article 14 when he said that a parent who might compel his child to go to Mass could well find himself in breach of this Article. The Irish News, March 26, 1997.

[12] – Satanic cults will no doubt make use (or misuse) of Article 14, which enables them to attract children away from the religions of their families more easily. Such cults are typically interested in young children or adolescents.

[13] – City of Dallas v. Stenglin, 490 US 19 (1989).

How the Convention on the Rights of the Child Will Destroy Family Sanctity

How the Convention on the Rights of the Child Will Destroy Family Sanctity

by Aaron Young

The Convention on the Rights of the Child, an international treaty commonly referred to as CRC, is one of the greatest threats to parental rights our country has ever witnessed.  Fasten your seatbelts for the fight for ratification.
The CRC’s devastating impact on American children and their families can be seen easily in the text of the treaty and its application in both foreign states and in recent U.S. court decisions. Do not be misled by the arguments of American legislators, legal scholars and transnationalists who say U.S. ratification of the CRC would prove our commitment to the protection of the world’s children and their rights to the international community. The CRC is in no way a harmless treaty; it is an instrument used by transnationalists for widespread social change, beginning right here in our own country. Similar to the Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW) treaty, U.S. ratification will in no way provide the children of the world with any additional forms of protections they don’t already enjoy under United States law, just as CEDAW affords women no rights beyond what they currently enjoy under U.S. law.
The 54 articles within the treaty do not provide American children with any protection from any dangers that they do not already enjoy in the U.S…

Coming up this week on HSLDA’s @home e-vents…

Coming up this week on

HSLDA’s @home e-vents…

Tuesday, August 17—Getting Kids to Help at Home


Does the workload of the approaching school year seem overwhelming? Do you have a houseful of kids to cook, clean, and care for … all while teaching? Learn to delegate to and motivate the little helpers in your household with advice from a foster mom to almost 50 children. In “Getting Kids to Help at Home,” HSLDA’s Early Years Coordinator Vicki Bentley offers special insight and practical tips that will give you fresh motivation and ideas for training your children to lend a hand around the house. Help your kids learn life lessons and save your sanity on Tuesday, August 17, @ 9:00 p.m. (ET) (Southern Hemisphere, Auckland time: Wednesday 18th at 1pm). Register now >>

Wednesday, August 18—How Can I Afford to Keep Homeschooling with a Reduced Family Income?


Is the economy affecting your family? Are you asking yourself the question, “How Can I Afford to Keep Homeschooling with a Reduced Family Income?” If both you and your spouse are working, do you know the legal implications of a double-income household for your homeschool? Are you looking for practical ideas that will help your family continue homeschooling during hard times? If so, be sure to join HSLDA President Mike Smith on Wednesday, August 18, 2010, @ 9:00 p.m. (ET) (Southern Hemisphere, Auckland time: Thursday 19th at 1pm) as he shares real-life strategies to help you meet your income needs and provide your children with the best education possible! Register now >>

Training Our Children to Use Technology

Training Our Children to Use Technology

By Craig and Barbara Smith

Technology is in the official NZ MoE curriculum statement. Most of us ignore it completely. Technology comes up automatically in our homes; we don’t have to “teach” it. Our children are far more savvy at it than we are anyway. Cell phones, Internet, Social networking sites like Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, Bebo and soon something from Google, etc. And who knows what else in the future…

What are parents to do?

After reading Jon Dykstra’s article “Facebook Frenzy” in the January 2010 issue of Keystone, Craig’s instinct was to say, “No” to all technology like cell phones, FB, etc., until the current Young Adult toying with these things leaves home. But what happens when the Young Adult leaves home and then has free access to all of this and no guidance…

Proverbs 22:6 says we are to “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” It is a promise from God. This training does not happen by itself. It is hard work. We get no holidays from training our children.

Technology is one area of the training of our children that we must not neglect. We must be training our children in the correct use of technology while they are at home with us so that when they depart from our homes, they don’t depart from the training we have given them.

A Word in Relation to Parents

Once again, the training of our children in the use of technology, as with all things else, begins with us, the parents. How are we using the technology in our homes? Does it rule us, are we enamoured with it and addicted to it, or do we have dominion over it? If we don’t have the victory in this area, then we need to get the victory. If we don’t exercise Biblical wisdom in using these tools, then we’d better develop this kind of wisdom. Our children will follow our example more than they will follow what we say. They are more likely to do what we do than what we say.

Today we read in our daily family worship around the table a passage from II Kings 17. Verse 41 stood out to me, especially after listening to Craig read through I and II Kings of the succession of kings from father to son in Judah and from one ratbag to another in Israel. Most of them did evil in the sight of the Lord, and even the “good” kings who did do what was right in the eyes of the Lord did not remove the high places. The consequences: II Kings 17:41 “So these nations feared the Lord, and also served their graven images; their children likewise, and their children’s children — as their fathers did, so they do to this day.”

So what “graven images” are we leaving in the “high places” while we also try to fear the Lord, having a foot in each camp as it were, for all our children to see? Are we turning our hearts toward our children as we seek to train them? (Malachi 4:6 and Luke 1:17)

Technology, because of the new dangers each new development seems to introduce, appears to be one of those things that we, as parents, are going to be working on for an awfully long time. We must be like Paul in Philippians 3:12-14 (NKJV): “Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” This mind-set has to be in our own lives before we can expect to see it in our children.

The rapid developments, the powerful applications and capabilities of Technology seem to have taken us by surprise. We ourselves have not been trained in wise use of it, and yet we see now that we really do need to train our children in the wise use of it. We need to search the Scriptures because God was not taken by surprise with all this new technology. He has plenty to say. And we need to dialogue with one another seeking to keep each other accountable to God.

Do we have any of these as “graven images” that we serve?

TV: Are you in the habit of watching TV regularly? What do your children see you watching? What do they watch with you? Are you embarrassed at times with what comes on the screen in the programmes and advertising: nudity, swearing, using God’s name in vain, infidelity, etc.? Or do you wait until all the children are in bed to watch TV? Your children will know this, of course, and will conclude that it is alright to watch TV when they are alone.

Movie Theatre/Videos/DVDs: The variety of the genres, the sheer numbers to choose from, the technical quality and special effects are all incredible! It is probably safe to say that these things are watched primarily for entertainment. Somewhere along the line, our daughter Charmagne brought Psalm 101:3 to our attention: “I will set before my eyes no vile thing” (NIV). “I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes” (KJV). “I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless” (ESV). “I will not set before my eyes anything that is base” (RSV). Now that is a challenge for all of us. So we thought through the meaning of the words vile, wicked, worthless and base. Around about this time we came to the conclusion that it is contrary to our confessions as Christians to sit down to be entertained by gratuitous violence, horror, occultism, immorality, blasphemy, the exultation of evil and the denigration of righteousness. As a result, our family is watching fewer and fewer movies via videos and DVDs.

Computer/Internet: How much time do we waste on the computer? Some of it is good and important, but do we spend time on the computer when we should be spending that time with our children? What sites do we go to? The email discussions, the blogs, the social networks, the buzz, the twitter, etc., are all so much fun, very interesting and sometimes even useful. But do we really need to play another hand of Hearts or get involved again in Mafia Wars or Farmville? Time is also a resource, like the talents given in the parable in Matthew 25:14-30, and the Lord will be asking from us a reckoning of our stewardship. The accounting books we hand over to Him better look good. Yes, He is gracious, merciful, forgiving … and He is also the King of kings and Lord of lords and will not overlook sloth and irresponsibility. He is, oh, so worthy of our very best … and more.

Home schooling Mums come up to me at conferences or ring me up asking for advice. More often than I want to admit, one of the concerns they have is their teenage sons’ addiction to pornography. They ask how they can help get their son off pornography. My first question now is, “Does their father look at pornography?” And usually the answer is yes. We can’t hide our addictions. We must master them. Genesis 4:7 says “Sin is crouching at the door; its desire is for you, but you must master it” (RSV). Porn is death. You must kill it, for it will kill you.

Cell phones: How do we use our cell phones? Are they a tool? Or is it mostly another form of entertainment leading us into sin?

Remember these verses: “The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil,” Ecclesiastes 12:13-14 (ESV). We need to be watching how we use Technology ourselves as well as how we train our children in the use of it. Why? Because we will be giving an account of how we use it and how we train our children in the use of it on Judgement Day.

A Word in Relation to Our Children

We live in such a fast-passed world. When it comes to technology, our children know far more than we do. They pick it up so quickly. We as parents have come to understand this too late for some of our children, but this is no excuse. We need to work at training all of our children, youngsters and young adults alike.

First, if we have been a bad example or a bad influence on our children, we need to master our sin and apologise to our children. What’s done is done, but we need to deal with the past by repenting from it, seeking forgiveness and setting new benchmarks. It is probably best to make it clear that we are compelled by our conviction from God’s word to set new standards. A man-centred resolution to turn over a new leaf generally won’t last the distance. As a family, work together on formulating a philosophy and strategy of using technology to glorify God (I Corinthians 10:31), extend His Kingdom everywhere we can (Luke 13:20-21); be that light on a hill (Matthew 5:14), the ambassadors for Christ, the ministers and messengers of reconciliation (II Corinthians 5:17-20).

As I said earlier, Craig’s first instinct was to forbid all the technology that would lead our children astray. But we would be failing our children if we did this. We must be training them to use technology wisely to the glory of God.

So how do we do this?

We must work on training and strengthening the inside of our children: see Michael Pearl’s article, “Insulate Your Children Within”  (http://tinyurl.com/l9ay76).

This will look differently in different families. Michael Pearl talks about beginning young, training them gently and then warning them more strongly as they get older. Or perhaps you might like to heavily supervise until you know your child has mastered technology and only uses it as a tool and to glorify God. Or you might like to restrict the use of technology until the last few years that your child is at home and have intense training at that stage. Or you might like to wait until your child is thoroughly regenerate and is consistently living a life given over to glorifying God. There is no right way yet. There is no proven formula as yet. We are still only just becoming aware of the dangerous aspects of technology; we are not keeping up with the rapid advances, and we are only just starting to formulate our counter-measures. But what we do know is that we must begin training our children in the correct use of technology so that they will not be snared by it when they leave home.

Some Practical Ideas that We Now Use:

TV: We don’t watch TV at all. I mean, like, never. Most advertising is inappropriate. Only the religious TV channels even try to glorify God … the rest have nudity, immorality, swearing, blaspheming God, etc. You cannot fast-forward it. One programme drags you into the next. It kills deep and meaningful discussions. It’s even physically unhealthy: you use less calories while watching TV than while sleeping. A family sitting together watching TV is not quality time together. It is just plain irresponsible for parents to let children have a TV in their own bedrooms.

Movies at the Movie Theatre: (This is not new technology, but some comments will fit in here nicely.) We very rarely go to the movies. You cannot fast-forward the movie. If a scene comes on that you should not be watching, it is hard to escape it. You cannot stop it to discuss with your family like you can with a video. You cannot switch it off like you can with a TV. Because it is so very difficult to get up and walk out, the tendency is to sit there and get further defiled.

Videos/DVDs/YouTube, etc: Videos and DVDs are something that we watch as a family, or Craig might watch some war documentaries with our sons, or I might watch something like North and South with the girls. At all times when watching videos or DVDs, we have our finger near the fast-forward button. We fast-forward all intimate scenes. By that I mean we fast-forward all kissing (anything more intimate, we stop the DVD and get rid of it). We even fast-forward the kiss in Fireproof, even though that one kiss in the whole movie was between a real husband and his real wife: the actress was replaced by the actor’s wife for that scene. But, again, watching any sexual intimacy between others is a basic definition of pornography. Even if the sexual intimacy is moral, that is, between a husband and wife, for others to be watching is at the very least what you call voyeurism … it’s just not edifying.

Our children do not watch videos on their own. We do not like to use videos/DVDs as a baby sitter for our children. Children under two should not sit in front of a screen. Let us quote from this reference: http://tinyurl.com/28tsmtc :

But why does television have such a negative effect on children of this age? “We believe that one reason is the fact that it exposes children to flashing lights, scene changes, quick edits and auditory cuts which may be over stimulating to developing brains” says Professor Christakis. “TV also replaces other more important and appropriate activities like playing or interacting with parents.”

We think this applies to videos and DVDs as well.

We love looking at YouTube clips! But a word of warning: you simply don’t know what’s going to pop up. Be very careful about exploring unknown material with the children watching, although this is also a good training exercise. And some of the other clips displayed on the sidebar can fool you … once you click on it, you can find a lot of junk.

A very good activity is to take a DVD and begin watching it. Stop the DVD at various stages and discuss the good and the bad in it. Discuss why it is good and why it is bad. Discuss how it can be improved. Discuss what the outcome would be if different decisions were made, etc.

Computer/internet: Some families use Maxnet or some other such programme as a protection on their computers. This is a great tool if you want your children on the computer doing their studies without having to worry about them going onto the wrong sites. But this is not training our children in the use of the computer or the internet. It is only protecting them while on that particular computer. And parents need to be very much aware that our children sometimes try to out-smart these programmes and try to get to programmes that have been blocked. I remember once at a Science Centre visit, when we were doing something on the computers there, a farming father put in a couple of words related to his farm activities and a pornographic page come up. The Science Centre said that they had all sorts of protections up on their computers because of schools using them all the time. So we can’t be too careful – we must be watching our children using the computer all the time.

Children can so easily be given a disc or MP3 “with really neat stuff on it you’ll like” from a friend. So if your children do have unsupervised use of a computer, make sure that they run such discs and MP3s past you first. The problem with using Maxnet or similar is that we get complacent about using the computer and forget all the horrible sites that are out there. But we must never forget. What happens when our children visit a friend or family member who does not have these protections on their computer or when they leave home? Again it is very unwise for a parent to let a child have a computer in their bedroom. No, let me revise that: it is pure insanity.

Watch for signs that your child might be getting into websites that he/she should not be on. Some things might be:

1. Always wanting to be on the computer

2. Finding all sorts of excuses for being on the computer.

3. When a job/assignment they are doing takes a lot longer than you anticipated.

4. Whenever you come into the room or walk by the computer, the screen is suddenly minimised. Always question what was closed. Check it out. Check the history if the page was deleted. It is always a good idea to check the computer history often.

5. You see a change in their behaviour – more disrespectful, telling everyone else to pull their socks up, etc.

Computer games are usually nothing more than an incredible waste of time and can also become quite addictive. We know: used to have a thing going with Tetris! Other games are quite evil with all kinds of gory graphics, occultism, killing and maiming people for points … again, this kind of thing is insanity for Christians to be involved with.

Networking sites: Facebook, mySpace, Twitter, Bebo etc These can be incredibly dangerous or a wonderful tool. We have rules for our family:

Our Family Facebook Rules:

1. All emails go to Dad’s email address.

2. Parents only have the passwords.

3. Parents are friends with all their children’s friends.

4. Male children only have male friends on Facebook.

5. Female children only have female friends on Facebook.

6. Exception No. 1 to rules 4 & 5: relations can be of both genders.

7. Exception No. 2 to rules 4 & 5: Children can make application to parents for exceptions to this rule.

8. No more than two quarter-hour sessions per day per child.

9. A parent has to be in the same room and able to see the computer screen at all times.

10. Child has to be at least 16 before getting a Facebook account, or else show clear signs of regeneration and trustworthiness. We allow no accounts with MySpace, Bebo, etc., because, first, we hear too many bad reports about those sites; and second, we’ve already got enough to keep track of with Facebook.

11. No games, and I think I am about to add, “no quizzes”.

12. These rules are related to one’s level of maturity and trustworthiness, are open to negotiation based on these two qualities and may vary from individual to individual (although that seems to be extremely difficult to accept when an older child is offered less privileges than a younger one).

When a male asks our daughter Charmagne to be his “friend” on Facebook, she sends him this reply:

Thanks for the friend request. However, the Smith family has some Facebook policies including one I call our “Pursuing Purity Policy” which means the females of our family have only ladies and relatives as Facebook friends. (There are similar rules for the Smith guys, too.) Thanks anyway! Sincerely, Charmagne.

Charmagne says, “Young or old, almost all the men I send this to answer back in a positive manner.” Charmagne is now 23, and she continues to live with this rule because she has taken it as her own.

There are other dangers with Facebook. There are places where your children can be sending messages to people who are not their friends. This took us by surprise with one of our children. At times we have had to forbid the talking with friends in the chat facility at the bottom of facebook and through messages at the top where they can send and receive messages from non- friends.

Also check the security settings for your children and make sure that they are as tight as possible. Ensure that only the minimum number of people can “see” their pages. The whole world can see Facebook pages now, or you can have a default setting so that only “Friends” can view pages. I guess that mySpace and Bebo, etc., are the same. I don’t know too much about them since we don’t use them and don’t allow our children to.

We need to remind our children to give out the least amount of personal information over the web as possible. There are people out there who pose as children and young people to become friends when in fact they are out to cause trouble and not very nice trouble at that. We cannot be naive about the internet, especially when using networking sites. By only being friends with people we know, we overcome that problem. So tell your children that they are not to become friends of friends unless they know them or are highly recommended by that friend. Be sure you read this article: https://hef.org.nz/2010/social-websites-harm-childrens-brains-chilling-warning-to-parents-from-top-neuroscientist/.

Blogs/Website: Because we have a lot more control over these, we let our children have a website/blog at a younger age. Jedediah got a website at 12. He can pull information and photos from our other websites, including his older siblings’ websites, but cannot go to any other websites unless we are sitting right beside him. He only gets to update his website/blog about once a month. There is very little interaction from others on this. Comments are moderated. Same rules apply as Facebook in regard to passwords, emails and friends.

Emails: Our younger children do not have email addresses. They use our email addresses when they want to send or receive an email. I guess it will be different in each family as to when they let their children get an email address. Jeremiah got his when he needed it for work. We set it up so that all the messages he sent and received came through a parent’s email.

Cell phones: This is a biggie. Put off letting your children have a cell phone for as long as possible. Once they get a cell phone, they become so much more independent. Yet we must realise that as parents, we have no idea what they are doing on the cell phone, even though we are still morally responsible before the Lord for much of what they do (the younger they are, the more responsible we are; the older they are, generally the less responsible we become). Again, this is easier if the child is clearly regenerate and showing obvious signs of commitment to Christ in his or her life.

Watch the phones that your children get. Some phones are very basic and only send and receive calls and texts. Others can do all sorts of things. We only have basic phones and got caught out when we realised that a phone a child had could do so much more than our phones. Know the phones your children buy. Again, ask the questions: “Do they really need a phone for that job?” We let a child get a phone because he really needed it for a job. The job didn’t last that long but the phone did. Do they need a phone that can do so much more than a basic phone? Phones now can send and receive emails, take photos and movies, download movies, email photos and movies, surf the internet and so much more.

You remain in control of the technology in your home: When we see behaviour deteriorating in a child, we are now quick to moderate / re-assess / take away certain technologies from that child. Technology is a privilege. Our children have responded well to this. Well, not initially. But they soon realise that this is part of our training of them, and if they misuse the technology for any reason, then there will be consequences. Both Craig and I have workshops on this. I would like to write mine up one day soon: “Christian Parents Preventing and Changing Rebellion in the Child’s Heart.”  Check out this website with some excellent links: https://hef.org.nz/2008/changing-the-heart-of-a-rebel-2/.

Remember that technology can steal your children’s hearts from you. Be very diligent and vigilant to keep your children’s hearts focussed on the Lord, on doing His work and on honouring you.

From:

Keystone Journal

Vol XV1 No 83  July 2010

To subscribe to Keystone: https://hef.org.nz/about/keystone-magazine-only-1-year-sub/

The Baby Conference Audio Collection (MP3)


The Baby Conference Audio Collection (MP3)

“A Historic Family Summit on the Triumph of Life Over the Culture of Death”

Format: MP3 CD (2,200 minutes)

Product Number: 13466

Age Range: Great for the Entire Family

MP3 Audio Collection
Normally US $60.00 (NZ $ 82.50)

NZD$79.00

In Australia: NZ$
Other Overseas: NZ$

The Baby Conference Audio Album from Vision Forum on Vimeo.

When tragedy strikes in the delivery room, and the doctor says you must choose which life to save, whose life is more important — the mother’s or the baby’s?

When your aged parents are terminally ill and in constant pain, and they want to go home to be with the Lord, which act is more loving — to take away their food and water and let them die “naturally,” or to continue feeding them and thereby prolong their suffering?

There are 500,000 babies living as frozen, unwanted embryos in clinics across the United States. Eventually their cells will break down and they will die. Should Christian couples adopt these embryos and implant them into the wives’ wombs? Or is that a form of “medical adultery?”

What does the Bible say about birth control? Is use of the Pill lawful or unlawful according to Scripture? How can we end legalized abortion in America? And what are Christians’ responsibilities to defend life in view of the looming healthcare crisis?

These questions offer just a taste of the critical life-and-death issues covered in The Baby Conference Audio Collection, featuring speakers such as Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar, Doug and Beall Phillips, Geoff and Victoria Botkin, Flip Benham, Kevin Swanson Jennie Chancey, and many more. Join them as they lay a biblical and ethical foundation for tackling the complex bioethical family issues confronting the Church in the 21st Century. Plus, explore practical ways to build a culture of life through adoption, child-birth, child-training, and more, and celebrate the joy and blessing of life amidst a culture of death—all part of The Baby Conference Audio Collection.

More than 38 hours.

Topics Include:

  • The Long War Against Babies
  • The Reward of the Fruitful Womb: Real Families Discuss the Rewards of Raising a Large Family for the Glory of God
  • Suffer the Children to Come: How to Love Those Children Who are Rejected by the Culture of Death
  • How to End Abortion in America: A Look at the Spiritual, Practical, and Constitutional Realities
  • How the Local Church Builds a Thriving Culture of Life
  • Surviving the First 50 Years of the Pill
  • Naming Babies
  • Symposium on Manhood and Babies
  • Symposium on Top Legal Issues Facing Parents
  • Fundamental Principles for Reforming Health
  • Ladies’ Tea with Michelle Duggar
  • What the Bible Says About Birth Control
  • Ladies’ Symposium: An Interview with Michelle Duggar
  • Children As Pets
  • Symposium on Biomedical Ethics for Birth
  • Ladies’ Symposium: Why We Must Be Ladies Against Feminism
  • The Indispensible Role of Grandparents in the Life of Children
  • The Demographics of Family Life
  • Michelle Duggar: Mother of the Year
  • Haiti’s Message of Hope to the Children of America
  • Symposium on the Hope of Adoption: Lessons for the Future of Adoption from the Great 2010 Crisis in Haiti
  • Ladies’ Symposium on Managing the Logistics of a Large Family
  • Symposium on the Future of Healthcare in America: How Must the Church and Parents Respond to Socialized Medicine, Medical Ethical Chaos and the Widespread Abdication of the Professing Church
  • Child Training: A Biblical Template
  • The Hopeful Theology of Miscarriage
  • The Myth of Overpopulation and the Coming Demographic Bomb
  • Symposium on Biblical Biomedical Ethics for the Infirm and Aging in the 21st Century: Brain Death, Organ Transplants, Euthanasia, and Care for the Elderly
  • Ladies’ Symposium on Preserving and Promoting the Highest Ideals of Christian Motherhood
  • Closing Session: Testimonials and Summary Remarks

For more information and to watch audio samples go to: http://www.visionforum.com/booksandmedia/productdetail.aspx?productid=13466

To order do one of the following:

send email to sales@hef.org.nz with visa number

post cheque or visa number to PO Box 9064, Palmerston North

fax: 06 357-4389

phone: 06 357-4399

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