Strengthening Support Groups: Group Dynamics and Incorporation

Posted in Craigs Keystone articles

Each support group will form its own unique character. This simply reflects the fact that each is formed for a different set of reasons and formed by different people. It is easiest on everyone to “grow” into a recognisable support group rather than “go” into it, forming one overnight from nothing. In the first method, you do as you are able and as you have keen and eager helpers. If you “go” into something, it is like trying to organise others who don’t want to be organised, and you could end up frustrated beyond words.

Some support groups limit their numbers. This has several advantages. It preserves the group’s character and group dynamics. This can be extremely important for some, for the character and dynamics of that set of individuals could be the entire attraction of a support group. A group of home educating mums, all good friends from way back, will see their support group as a natural extension of their years of friendship. A set of mums all from the one church denomination will obviously see and appreciate and approach things in very similar ways, minimising the need to be wary of other differing value systems within the group. Although welcomed with opened arms for here are other brave souls who have “seen the home schooling light”, one or two new families coming along will definitely change the way the original group interacts. The new comers could well have completely different needs, aspirations, expectations and value systems and could easily step on the toes of the original group members simply because they do not know the unwritten “rules of relationships” which have already developed among the others.

Larger and growing groups have more complex dynamics and are always changing and become less personal. Larger groups also require…and expect…. more organisational structures. If the organisation isn’t there, the person seen to be in the “leadership” position is criticised: totally unfairly and unjustifiably as the person is a volunteer already busy with her own family. But criticism comes and sometimes it can be severe. This can be very hurtful (support group members, please take note), but it is also an excellent opportunity to learn and grow. Criticism is simply part of the price of serving in a leadership capacity. “No pain, no gain” is a true statement. However, this can be avoided by a well-focussed executive committee, and larger groups can certainly begin to gain larger discounts and attract the attention of those offering various goods and services. One danger to watch for is that you don’t allow the support group’s mechanics and growing administrative requirements to become a higher priority than your children’s education. It is easy to be pushed along by circumstances, especially when so many people are hoping you will do this and do that and what a fabulous opportunity to serve others….before making any commitments to being chairperson, ask your husband. Better yet, get the dads to do all the admin, for the mums are already doing all the teaching.

It is to be expected that support groups will fluctuate over time and that some members find one group no longer meets their needs so they move to another or establish their own. Many home educators belong to several groups, for again, each offers something unique. When you see this happening in your own group, recognise it as a natural occurance and try not to make life difficult for yourself or others by questioning loyalty and commitment. Our loyalty and commitment is to our Lord and our families long before it is given to some support group. Sure, it is nice to have things remain the same, but that isn’t always realistic.

Incorporation                                                                                                                                                           Many support groups become legally incorporated. Probably the only benefit to doing so is to be able to qualify for Clear and Telecom donations and grants from various agencies. There are two ways to become incorporated.

1) Via the Incorporated Societies Act, wherein you need 15 people to sign a deed of incorporation. You have elected officers and AGMs and must have minutes of meetings and financial statements, properly audited. These are legal requirements. It can seem a somewhat top-heavy bureaucracy for a few outings and some mums wanting to get together. But large groups with lots of assests (a resource library for example) may need such a structure. It means someone is going to do a lot of work administratively that has nothing to do with home education. An incorporated society’s structural requirements will of necessity draw some people away from the task of home education for more or less hours a week. It is also expensive: $250 to incorporate and if you get a lawyer involved in writing the constitution and other paper work it will cost several hundred dollars more.

2) The Charitable Trust form of organisation requires only three people as trustees of whatever assets you have or will have. It costs nothing to gain legal incorporation as a charitable trust, although it will if you hire a lawyer to do your constitution and other paper work. Charitable trusts are not legally required to present minutes or have AGMs or to provide financial statements, unless the trust is applying for grants. The trustees can just organise activities themselves and make all the decisions. Most people are quite happy to pay fees and have others do all the work. Or you can have elected officers and run the show like an incorporated society. But in that case, the elected officers must be very clear about what parametres they must work within as laid down by the constitution and the trustees. The trustees are still responsible for what the elected officers do. We have seen terrible problems erupt among good friends when it slowly dawned on the elected officers that the trustees could overturn any decision made by the elected officers. Although this rarely actually happens, the elected officers must be willing to operate within this system.

Either form, incorporated society or trust, can have a status with the IRD as profit-making or charitable.  Charitable status means no bank fees and no worries with income tax. In addition, donations of $5 or more to an organisation with charitable status are themselves tax deductible.

Either form can hire people to work for them (as long as the constitution allows for it). If the person hired is considered self-employed, or hired on a contract basis, the person is responsible for his or her own tax concerns. Having your organisation becoming the employer means getting into ACC and PAYE issues, which one really wants to avoid if possible. Either form can register for GST at any time if you see advantages to that.

So there are a lot of issues to consider, but probably only with a larger group. Most start by a couple of mums organising something for themselves and then others want to join in. That’s fine. When someone says, “Hey, you should organise such and such,” you can respond, “Great idea! Feel free to organise it and we will do what we can to support you in your efforts.” We began organising things for our own children and were quite happy to have others join in. But when others began to expect us to organise things for their children (even when their children were a totally different age group) and then NOT SHOW UP when we did organise it, we became more discerning. Outrageous? This happens in virtually every support group we’ve talked to.

The group must serve you and other home educators. Never let the group’s organisational and administrative requirements cause you to serve them to the point that you can no longer home educate effectively.

There is a mountain of information available through the CAB or other local community support agencies or on the web at: www.community.net.nz/.

From Keystone Magazine
July 1999 , Vol. V No. IV
P O Box 9064
Palmerston North
Phone: (06) 357-4399
Fax: (06) 357-4389
email: craig@hef.org.nz

Strengthening Support Groups: What Are They and How Do You Locate One?

Posted in Craigs Keystone articles

by Christina Coward and Craig Smith

A local home education support group might be nothing more than two families trading ideas and resources or as big as dozens of families who share in teaching each other’s children, run seminars and resource libraries, and keep in touch with a monthly newsletter.

They reflect home educators very well: just as each family is completely unique and has its own personal way of doing things, so each local support group is completely unique and develops and grows along with the needs of the members of the group.

Neither the Ministry of Education nor the Education Review Office officers are “officially” in the business of giving advice to home educators. They are by and large, however, people of integrity and expertise and will happily answer whatever questions they can. It seems clear that these officials will be referring more and more requests for information to local support groups. It is therefore prudent for local support groups to seek out reliable information on issues as they arise and endeavour to keep it on file. It is also a good idea for both prospective and long-time home educators to associate themselves with a local support group, as the MOE and the ERO see this as a real plus as they consider exemption applications and review reports.

In the early days of home education in NZ many families thought they were the only ones in the country considering such a wild idea as teaching their own children at home. One such family from Invercargill attended a homeschooling conference in Palmerston North in 1987 and went home encouraged to go public with the concept. They appeared in the local papers and soon discovered six other families there in Invercargill doing the same thing! This illustrates one characteristic of many home educators: they tend to take a low profile. If you take on a package curriculum it is very likely that your national administrator will be able to put you in touch with others in your area doing the same curriculum. Otherwise advice networks such as HENA (Home Educators’ Network of Aotearoa, c/- Kate Jaunay, PO Box 11645, Ellerslie, Auckland 1131) or NCHENZ (National Council of Home Educators New Zealand, c/- Peter George, PO Box 288, Hamilton) or SIHE (South Island Home Educators, c/- Dot Brown, PO Box 186, Rangiora) or CHomeS (Christian Home Schoolers of NZ, c/- Craig Smith, 4 Tawa St., Palmerston North) may be able to help you locate other home educators in your area.

How Do You Start One Up Yourself?

It has been said that there are three kinds of people: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who constantly ask, “What happened?” If you start something off, you may safely assume most who come along will happily let you remain in the driver’s seat. So start simply, realise that each person will have a different level of commitment, that an event which worked well in another region may not be that successful in your region, and that the bottom line of a support group is to meet existing needs rather than create new ones, such as AGMs, quorums, elections, budgets, etc.

And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men….for you serve the Lord Christ. — Colossians 3:23-24

One or two people need to be leaders/organisers/co-ordinators. Two can easily make decisions, plan a calendar, delegate jobs and then advise all the rest. Once you form a committee or try to get a consensus from all concerned, it bogs down quite dramatically. Leaders who have assumed the responsibilities also automatically take on a measure of authority as well. People will look to you, the leader/co-ordinator, for guidance and will begin to expect you to be an authority on many subjects associated with home education. You become the ear to whom some confide, the shoulder upon which some will cry, the sounding-block off which some will bounce ideas, the avenue through which some will want to push their barrows, the mediator between mere mortals and lofty government officials upon whom some insecure parents will depend. You will be praised by some and maligned by others in the same group over the same event! So be sensitive, respect confidentiality, be wise, be humble, be flexible, and hold onto pet projects with an open hand. And all you support group members, you who benefit from the voluntary work put in by these dedicated support group leaders, remember to volunteer for something whenever you are able, and remember to give your leaders an occasional word of thanks and a pat on the back to show your appreciation.

Usually the objectives of support groups include the encouragement of like-minded people and the provision of educational opportunities hard to obtain by individual families. This could lead to the formation of support groups open to all comers, or limited to perhaps those of a specific religious denomination or maybe just to those with secondary-aged girls. Some may want to have written objectives, a constitution, a catchy name, a paid up and committed membership or one that operates on a volunteer basis. There is usually a need for money at some point, at least to photocopy the list of planned activities. So the policy of how much money is required and for what purposes, how and from whom it is collected, and who manages it must be clearly defined for all to see.

Types of Support

There are an inexhaustable number of ways home educators can help themselves and others through a local home education support group. Here are just a few ideas:

Sharing resources. The group can compile a master list of who has what resources they are willing to lend. Or they could buy and build up a central library of resources reserved for their own members.

Group outings & field trips. This is especially beneficial when going to places which employ their own educational personnel such as museums and art galleries. But visiting a friend’s chicken farm or an enthusiastic hobbyist like a ham radio operator can be even more fascinating.

Co-op teaching. Some parents may be experts in certain fields and also happy to share their expertise on a regular or occasional basis with the children of other families. Perhaps a core of parents could take turns planning and teaching a unit or two on topics in which none of them has any particular expertise.

Training workshops. The group could organise seminars/workshops with experts from within the Ministry of Education or from local organisations or with visiting experts.

Newsletters. These are a good way to keep in touch, advertise items for sale or swap, advise of upcoming events, philosophise, share tips, book reviews, etc.

Exploiting community services. This can be really good value. Your local home education support group may be able to get organisation or bulk-buying discounts from all kinds of suppliers. The library may operate a learning exchange where you may find a tutor for a certain subject. One of your group may be able to make a professional approach to a local school about your members attending specialised classes such as chemistry lab or metal shop. Are there night classes being offered by a local high school or the polytech? Home educators have access to the National Libraries, whereas the normal public does not. Computer hardware and software is often offered to educational groups at substantial discounts. Get St. Johns to give you a demonstration, get the health board to test hearing and vision, get the traffic cops to show videos and give talks on road and bike safety. See if a local school needs more players on its sports teams.

Telephone trees. With two or three reliable people ringing all the rest rather than each person ringing one other on the list, a last-minute attraction or outstanding bargain can be circulated quickly and accurately.

Activities among the group. Pot-luck socials, show-and-tell days, sports days, end-of-year breakups with prizegivings, a concert and even a yearbook comprised of contributions from each of the support group’s members all give a sense of belonging and contributing to an excellent cause outside ourselves.

Publicity As home educators each family, each member of each family, is automatically on the Homeschooling Public Relations Team. Behaviour on field trips, in public during school hours, while visiting institutions, while being visited by guest speakers all serve to give home education and home educators a certain reputation with the public at large. Your local support group may want to appoint a press spokesperson/ liaison officer to produce press releases of your end-of-year breakup, special accomplishments of your members, or to invite the press to special functions you may stage in order to raise the home education profile and promote the concept to your local community. Also, it is the number and diversity of the individual home education families and the individual home education support groups which make their letters and submissions to Parliament so effective on those occasions when political lobbying is necessary.

The Most Important Supports T

The Lord God is the only One Who will not let you down. Christians can embrace this incredible promise: “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” — Isaiah 41:10

Your family & extended family, especially your spouse. If Mum came up with the home education idea, or if Dad did and then delegated the job to Mum, Dad still needs to be 100% behind the endeavour and to be the constant support to Mum and the children. He should actively contribute as much and whenever he can, be it academically, socially, sportswise or ensuring that Mum doesn’t do all of the housekeeping as well as all of the educating. Usually home education becomes an all-encompassing lifestyle which just about demands that all family members become part of the programme. The immediate family’s support, especially that of your spouse, spells the difference between happiness or horrors. Grandparents should be recruited, as they may have a lot of spare time and would jump at the opportunity to have such a vital input into their grandchildren. Although they may be bewildered about the home education concept and feel hurt because they reckon you are telling them they didn’t do their best for you, they have a wisdom of years and skills and stories of the past which will surely enrich our children’s lives.

Summary

There are already many local home education support groups right throughout NZ, the numbers are increasing all the time, and they each reflect the individual local needs, concerns and characters of the families involved. Both the MOE and the ERO like to see home educators attached to local support groups. They are spontaneous groups, run on a volunteer basis for the common good. The support and activities offered vary widely from group to group. As much as they offer, local support groups can only supplement, and not replace, the vital foundational support which is only found in the family’s faith and the commitment of their own family members. With these supports in place, the home education family is well endowed to successfully embark upon one of the most exciting, challenging and fulfilling adventures that life has to offer!

From Keystone Magazine
May 1999 , Vol. V No. III
P O Box 9064
Palmerston North
Phone: (06) 357-4399
Fax: (06) 357-4389
email: craig@hef.org.nz

Divine Guidance

Posted in Theologically Speaking

“There is confusion on the subject of divine guidance among Christians today. There is an expectation that when difficult decisions have to be made God will guide us by speaking to us through a still small voice or perhaps in a dream.

“Examples of such guidance in the Bible readily come to mind. Paul had a vision of a man from Macedonia saying, “Come over and help us.” Elijah heard the still small voice of God on the mountain. Examples of such guidance are also common in modern Christian literature. Corrie Ten Boom, in Tramp for the Lord, tells of God speaking to her in a clear and unmistakable way. Today Christians who ask the Lord for such guidance are often disappointed when heaven remains silent. Even worse, they begin to question their relationship with the Lord when such guidance is not forthcoming. When well-meaning friends then tell them that there must be some sin barrier in their life that stops them hearing the voice of God the results can be rather devastating.

“Sydney Anglicans Phillip Jensen and Tony Payne in their new book Guidance and the Voice of God, open up some healthy Biblical correctives to the instructions Christians are often given for “finding God’s will” for their lives.

“First, they point out that even in Scripture ‘direct’ guidance is rare. Scripture nowhere leads us to believe that we have a right to expect it. Just because both Peter and Paul had visions from the Lord does not prove that all the apostles had such direct guidance from God. Even if all the apostles were privileged in this way that does not yet mean that all believers may expect such direct guidance.

“Second, they point out that God has not left us ignorant but ‘has given us all we need for life and godliness’ (II Pet.1:3). They remind us that God guides us through the bright light of His Word. They see this as liberating us from the tyranny of our fears of being ‘outside the will of God’. It also sets us free to listen to what God is actually saying. “Many Christians today are so busy trying to work out what God is supposedly saying to them through circumstances, visions, voices, impressions and the like, that they lack the time (and the interest) to listen to what He is really saying to them in His eternal and living Word.” (p.80).

“That leaves the big question: if God’s basic way of guiding us is through His Word how does that work? Here the authors make a helpful distinction between three categories:

1) Matters of righteousness;

2) Matters of good judgment and

3) Matters of triviality.

“In the first of these three we are dealing with issues about which God has spoken with clarity – they are non-negotiable for Christians. In the second we need to weigh up our options in the light of Biblical principles. In the third category are those matters that we should not waste too much time thinking about.” (John Westendorp)

Matters of Triviality

We won’t spend much time here. If you are looking for God’s will as to what colour socks to put on in the mornings; whether you should cut your hair to a certain style or cut the lawn this weekend; to start the children on that science project or do their chores first; which phonics programme to buy; or hoping God will speak a word to you as to which activities of the local support group to attend, let me respectfully suggest that you need to spend some extended time reading and praying through the Bible to extend your horizons and lift up your heart and mind to the great and mighty calling He has for you to fulfill. Yes, of course the Lord is interested in the smaller details of our lives, but that means He is also interested, probably more interested, in the big picture. He has already told us to make disciples of all nations (Matthew 28:18-20) and to abound in the work of the Lord (I Corinthians 15:58) doing those good works which He has “prepared beforehand that we should walk in them” (Ephesians 2:10). How are we going to do these things if we are so often occupied with minor everyday details the Scriptures rarely if ever bother to mention?

Matters of Righteousness

As the Rev Westendorp says, these are the non-negotiables, i.e., the Ten Commandments and other Biblical directives. Historically much of the church has not only looked upon the Ten Commandments as negative prohibitions (do not murder, do not steal), but also as positive obligations (promote, protect, defend and preserve life in all ways; protect, defend and preserve public and private property as good stewards). If we take the view that God’s moral imperatives are simply a list of “don’t”s, then we may find many Muslims and Buddhists, who value self-discipline, to be far more godly and righteous than we. When the Lord Jesus said, “Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father Who is in heaven” (Matthew 5:16), it is clear that He was expecting us (in fact, is this not an imperative, a command, a non-negotiable?) to be doing things, good things, remarkably wonderful things and in such a Christlike manner that even the unbelieving onlookers and recipients of our good works would give the glory to God and not to us! Do we plan-in service to others as part of our home education programme? Baking a huge batch of decorated cookies and going to the local rest home to sing some choruses and pass out the cookies is at least an impressive list for the ERO (home economics, vocal music, art, socialisation, inter-generational communications, community service, planning and executing the logistics of a field trip) apart from the immeasurable joy and pleasure you would have brought to the shut-ins…and to yourselves, just quietly. Our Charmagne has done Highland dancing without either her costume or the music at rest homes and the old folks loved it!! She struck up a great conversation with one ancient who really appreciated it for she once did such dances 75 years ago! Christianity is a religion of positive action, not pietistic legalism.

Do we really need guidance as to whether we should duck away from work five minutes early to be a counselor at the evangelistic rally that evening? The Lord has already spoken His mind on the issue: it is theft from your boss. Should you tattoo a gospel verse tastefully on one shoulderblade as a subtle witness while down at the beach? Leviticus 19:28 makes it clear that it is forbidden. Should you, as a young man, accept that female part in the street drama scene your evangelism group is putting on? Deuteronomy 22:5 would indicate you had better not, especially if it entails wearing female clothing. Should you witness to your boss at work, or keep to your station? Why do you need to ask? The Scripture says be urgent in season and out of season (II Timothy 4:2), although there is such a thing as Christian diplomacy (II Timothy 2:23-25) and that at the end of the day you are a witness to the boss no matter what you do. Does the Lord want you to actually give 10% of your income? Well, come on, ask a hard one. Proverbs 3:9-10 says give from your possessions, your substance, what you already have (your capital) AND from your profit, your wages AS WELL. In Malachi 3:8, God says people rob Him when they neglect the tithe. (Barbara & I used to worry about whether we should give 10% of our income before or after tax. We decided to tithe our gross, not only to be on the safe side, but to put ourselves in the way of the blessings God promises in Malachi 3:10.) Would the Lord have your church launch into a programme of building homes for the homeless and providing food for the hungry, by borrowing against your good name alone but really having no idea how you will pay back the loan? But you are trusting God to bless the ministry, and He can certainly bring in the needed funds. Didn’t the devil say virtually the same thing to our Lord when testing Him in the desert: throw yourself off the tower, for the Lord God will protect you from the negative consequences of your silly actions. In response our Lord said we should NOT put Him to the test, and expect Him to bail us out. Should I let my son court that lovely hard-working, respectful girl who unfortunately isn’t a believer yet? But he would surely win her to Christ in due course. Why do you think the Lord caused II Corinthians 6:14 to be written? So that you would not have to agonise over the situation, but say simply, “No dice, son”. Should we give our children a Christian education, either at home or in a Christian school, or send them to the temples of man-centred atheistic materialism (public schools)? Did the Lord save the people of Israel out of Pharaoh’s hand, through the Red Sea and the desert and the Jordan River for them to turn their children around and send them back down to Egypt to go to school? I think not.

Matters of Good Judgment

All kinds of people have referred to the Bible as the handbook for human behaviour, the owner’s manual of life and similar such titles. And so it is. Not only does II Peter 1:3 say that all things that pertain to life and godliness are in the knowledge of Him (and He is the Word made flesh), but II Timothy 3:16-17 makes it clear that the Scriptures are for keeping us in the good way and getting us out of the bad ways. I don’t know how anyone could ask for anything more comprehensive and complete than what these two verses promise….unless you want to hear God’s very voice boom from the fiery mountain or see Him write a message in the sky.

Now it occurs to me that if we were fully occupied in doing all that the Lord has already commanded us to do in the written Word (just take Matthew 28:18-20 or II Corinthians 5:17-20 for starters), I doubt we would often be concerned about guidance for what we should do next, but rather where to start! The Apostle Paul himself was so busy pushing against the doors of opportunity he saw all around him, the Holy Spirit had to make it impossible in all directions and finally gave him a vision which indicated Macedonia was the place to be. Read about it in Acts 16:6-10. But never mind that. If you are simply waiting for guidance, basically just sitting around in the meantime like I did for three years once, you are probably wasting your life away. “A man’s mind plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps” (Proverbs 16:9). Nothing flash here about the guidance method, but you have to be moving, doing something, taking steps, in order for those steps to be guided.

There is, of course, a catch to this: we mortals have to do some work to get the Word of Life into our sinful selves so that the plans we make for our way are at least somewhat along Biblical lines. It doesn’t come naturally; sin comes naturally, because the world is fallen, but godliness takes work. Sure the Lord said to the Twelve in John 14:26 that the Spirit would teach them all things and bring to their remembrance all that He had said to them. It is hard to be dogmatic that this verse applies to us today since it was spoken to the future writers of Scripture, but even if it does (and I like to think it does!), for us to be able to remember all that He has said, to make available in our minds the raw material of His word so the Holy Spirit can bring it to our remembrance, we have to first at least READ all that He HAS said, i.e., the entire Bible. Have you ever read the whole of the Bible through even once? Do we have a system of daily Bible reading with our children that will ensure they hear all of God’s word at least once every two years? To attain to Christlike thought patterns which lead to Christlike actions one must flush out the humanist garbage that undoubtedly festoons most areas of our conscious and unconscious thought and allow His Holy Spirit ample opportunity to re-train our minds into His mold, not that of the world. “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways, says the Lord” in Isaiah 55:8.

And here is where our responsibilities as home educating parents just about begin and end. We must train up our children in the ways of the Lord, according to His word. How on earth can we do that unless we know His ways ourselves, unless we know His word in which He TELLS us His ways???!!!!

Read the Bible morning, noon and night. Read it out loud to each other that you may listen to it as well. Study various passages, various books, various topics. Big topics such as what the Bible says about prayer; medium topics such as the kinds of things angels say; and small topics such as the words Jesus spoke from the cross or all the Bible has to say about that lovely couple Priscilla and Aquilla. The children can very profitably do small topical studies and actually exhaust all the Bible has to say about it. These are projects they can do all by themselves with only a Bible and a concordance.

If you really want to come to grips with Scripture and have it ready on your lips that you may know how to answer in most circumstances, start memorising! Your Christian bookshop will have Bible memory courses which prepare you for sharing the basics of the Gospel effectively and for answering the common objections straight from the Word of God. There is something powerful about being able to turn straight to a passage and get the person to whom you are talking to read it off the pages of Scripture for himself. Children from the time they can speak fluently can memorise vast tracts of Scripture, far more than we would normally credit to their ability. Make sure your 6-year-old has a spot at the next Sunday School presentation to recite, clearly and loudly, the whole of Psalm 1. Watch as the rest of the congregation practically swoon with a fantastic mixture of joy and delight and amazement and a burning in their hearts as they realise they and their children too should be doing exactly that. As a family project it can not only be loads of fun, but will set your children up with the words of eternal life indelibly engraved on their minds where NO ONE can take it away. In God’s grace and in His time He can cause that word to travel the 18 inches south from their minds to their hearts and claim them for His own. “For the Word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword…a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12).

But the most effective way to get the Scripture deep down into your soul and unconscious mind so that your reflex actions reflect Scripture is to meditate on the word. This is how one can learn to exercise good judgment. Sit down and outline the situation wherein you need guidance. Identify the issues, the options and the implications of the various options as much as you are able. Formulate some possible decisions. Then search the Scriptures, as did the Bereans of Acts 17:11, to see if the Biblical reasons you gave for your possible decisions are in fact truly Biblical. Now, again, if you have not read the Scriptures through and are not really familiar with most of it, you are really hamstrung. Psalm 119:160 is key here. It says that the SUM of God’s word is truth. You cannot pick out a favourite verse here or there and build a destiny on it. You must search and study and dig in the Bible as for hidden treasure to know God’s mind on an issue, to understand the principles on which you would make a decision.

Maybe this is why some people prefer to wait upon the Lord for some sign or vision or voice or dream …. there is an aversion to the mental and intellectual trauma of honest to goodness study, a reluctance to love God with all the mind. Whether this applies to you and me as parents or not, let us make sure it never applies to our children: by precept and example let us do what we can to cause them to “desire the pure milk of the word” that they may grow thereby (I Peter 2:2). Through personal experience I am convinced the Lord can cause us to hear voices and see visions….yet it seems arrogant to expect Him to so favour any of us if we neglect to faithfully and consistently consume His written word. Surely it is the least we can do to show we are serious about wanting to know Him and His will for our lives.

Or do we simply crave the spiritual experience of a voice or vision? Yes, that would be exciting and something to tell others about (oops, are we into pride here?). Well, at least it would help me to know that I was alive spiritually, and somewhat verify the spiritual reality of my faith in a Spiritual God. Yet, consider the following: Habakkuk 2:4 says the just shall live by faith. I Corinthians 5:7 says we are to walk by faith, not by sight. For who hopes for what he sees? (Romans 8:24). And our Lord Jesus didn’t seem too keen on the idea when He said in Matthew 12:39, “An evil and adulterous generation seeks after a sign.” Didn’t He also tell the story of how the rich man who was suffering in the fires of hell begged Abraham to send Lazarus to his kin to warn them of such a place, for surely “if one goes to them from the dead, they will repent”? But Abraham said they already have the Scriptures, that such a sign would be wasted; for if they will not hear the Scriptures “neither will they be persuaded though one rise from the dead” (Luke 16:19:31).

Maybe we are afraid of becoming too familiar with the Scriptures and what God has already told us, for we perceive He is a demanding God, prone to sending people to the ends of the earth to suffer unspeakable hardships for His Name’s sake. Maybe some of us have more in common with Jonah than with Paul. A dream or vision can be a lot more subjective than words on a page, and there is some comfort in that, for then I can interpret it without others telling me what it means for they didn’t see it! Brothers and sisters, please be careful, as even the devil can disguise himself as an angel of light (II Corinthians 11:13-15), which would be quite a lovely vision indeed.

My son, if you receive my words, and treasure my commands within you, so that you incline your ear to wisdom, and apply your heart to understanding; yes, if you cry out for discernment, and lift up your voice for understanding, if you seek her as silver, and search for her as for hidden treasures; then you will understand the fear of the Lord, and find the knowledge of God. (Proverbs 2:1-5).

by John Westendorp and Craig smith

From Keystone Magazine
March 1999 , Vol. V No.II
P O Box 9064
Palmerston North
Phone: (06) 357-4399
Fax: (06) 357-4389
email: craig@hef.org.nz

How Far Can We Take the Unschooling Approach?

Posted in Teaching Tips

A New Zealand mum asks:

At what point can a parent be said to be no longer “purely” unschooling? At what point does what they’re doing become coercive (or pushy) in some way? Say you leave materials around that you hope your child will pick up. Is that just part of providing the “stimulating environment” they need? Or is it coercive because you start to convey to them that you’d really like them to pick up those materials? And then I wonder – is it ever even possible to purely unschool? Because surely we’re often conveying subtle expectations to our children even when we’re not trying to?

It seems an extreme view of unschooling is based on ideas I believe were popularised by John Locke (1632-1704), who theorised that the mind of a newborn is like a clean sheet of paper (a blank tape), and is all innocence. It is the adults who are all screwed up, especially parents who are not only emotionally involved with the child, but also generally insist on passing on all this traditional family, church and society stuff. Let the professional educators have the child as soon as possible, and they will write only the things that are good and proper for any child to learn on that blank sheet of paper.

But it seems some strands of unschooling take this even farther by saying get all adults out of the way as much as possible, and the child will learn all it needs to know without all the confused morality, double standards, superstitions and extraneous bits of nostalgia. In other words, get rid of the past, and allow the child to live completely in the present pressing on to the future. Let the child construct his or her own reality and future, their own set of values and standards.

There are some unspoken assumptions behind these theories. One is that the child is pure innocence, with a tendency toward goodness. Another is that although the mind is a blank tape, it is somehow formatted in such a way as to always select the best options presented to it and to always put them together in the optimal fashion. Another is that neither parents nor any adults have anything worth knowing that they can pass on, and that even if they did, it is best to let the child learn it for itself. It is like the contempt certain animal rights people have for trained dolphins…leave them alone, totally unexposed to human influence, and they will develop to their proper, natural potential. The tricks they are taught have no place in the animal’s “natural” life, so can add nothing of value to it’s existence.

The problem is that it is hard to leave a human baby alone to develop without any contact with other humans. There have been ferral babies reared by animals, but their development was found to be grossly stunted. And I suspect most parents feel they have quite a bit they reckon should be passed on to their children. Even the one who wants to interfere as little as possible with his/her child is passing on that very concept. So ultimately, the theoretical ideal is an impossible quest; so you might as well build into the child all the best you are convinced of and do it the best way you know how, and enthuse the child to love learning and to pursue knowledge and excellence…and altruism, and service and kindness while you’re at it!!

My mum is still a voracious reader, at age 74…with only one good eye. When I was a kid, she and I were in a library having a ball getting out some new books. She motioned to the vast shelves and the several rooms and expressed her frustration that she will never be able to read them all, nor keep up with all the new stuff being produced, nor find all the fantastic stuff from the past out of print and only in museums. That had a lasting impression on me. Being a door-to-door salesman for 13 years also made a lasting impression on me: in both cases, I realised I don’t know it all (or even very much), and I can always learn something from anybody, no matter who they are. I have also discovered that only my mum and very close friends will bother to share some of those really important and personal insights with me that make such a difference in knowing how to cope with various situations.

So do I see it as coercive to nudge my children in a certain direction? Is it unfair to blatantly suggest one set of interests or activities in preference to others? Is it wrong to exclude certain things from their lives? Should I share the life secrets I’ve learned and that others have taught me or not?

Well, it seems that a whole lot is going to be excluded simply for logistical reasons (we are not likely to visit the North Pole; they will never experience life in the Hakataramea Valley of the 1950s; there are more books in existence than they will ever see, let alone read). So I will accept exclusion as a part of life. And logistics means I cannot expose them to the things I reckon are the best, for time and limited resources prevent that. So I will accept that they will only ever be exposed to a limited number of things in this life anyway.

So what to do? I will further assume that NOBODY is as motivated for my child’s best welfare as my wife and I am. That means I would be silly to leave it up to chance or the beneficence of others to see that my children get the best deals in life. No, here is what I will do: I will take hold of my position as parent with both hands and strive to give my children the best knowledge, experiences, attitudes, values, friendships, advice, guidance, etc., that I can, knowing that it will only ever be a start, and that my children will have to take up from where I left off.

Now this theory I’ve just explained also has a lot of unspoken assumptions behind it. One is that life is linear, with a starting and an ending on this earth. Another is that the time here counts for something. A third is that there is propositional truth, unchanging rights and wrongs. If life were cyclical, with no ultimate end or purpose, then eat, drink and be merry would be my theme song. But you know, I have already learned from 48 years of experience that discipline is more pleasureable than sloth, and that work is more satisfying than relaxation.

Seems to me the Bible has it right when it indicates that the world and ourselves were created a certain way, and try as we might, certain things simply will not change and refuse to conform to our wills, to the way we would like things to be. One is that children desperately need committed parents and other loving adults to train them up in the way they should go, for a child left to himself will bring shame to his mother.

From Keystone Magazine
March 1999 , Vol. V No.II
P O Box 9064
Palmerston North
Phone: (06) 357-4399
Fax: (06) 357-4389
email: craig@hef.org.nz

Do We Really Want Correspondence School After All?

Posted in Over a Cuppa

My oldest son Zach, 16, is on Correspondence School at the adult rates (far cheaper than the rate for students … unless they have been expelled!!! !) Anyway, he is doing 6th Form Chemistry. To work out the pH concentration of some liquid, they taught in the official text which calculator buttons to push. Zach has a different style calculator than the one they have at the Correspondence School apparently, for the recom-mended sequence of buttons did not produce the desired answer. So Zach fiddled around and finally discovered a sequence of buttons to push for HIS calculator to get the same answer they had. As if this wasn’t bad enough, to do the calculation in the reverse direction the text showed a more complex sequence of buttons to push with a few options along the way depending on the type of calculator you have!!! I was fairly frustrated by now, for nowhere did it explain the actual mathematical process that was taking place or the relationship among the variables. It involved logarithms, so it would have been a little complex, but at least a sketch to increase understanding would have been nice.

Once again, Zach’s calculator would not perform as the text said it should. He rang his tutor at the CS. The tutor told him to buy a calculator that had the correct button on it!! I just about went ballistic! So I got down some old book on Logarithms, and before too long, drawing on vague memory of this stuff from 30 years ago, I figured out an equation that very simply explained the relationship between the three variables involved…. and then found that the sequence of button pushing, to get the answer they wanted was far simpler than what they had illustrated! And now both Zach and I understand the whole concept whereas before neither of us did.

Moral of the story: teaching your child yourself, learning with them if you have to, is more effective than paying big dollars for fancy text books and far-away tutors and expecting the children to learn it themselves.

From Keystone Magazine
January 1999 , Vol. V No.I
P O Box 9064
Palmerston North
Phone: (06) 357-4399
Fax: (06) 357-4389
email: craig@hef.org.nz